Erny- Colour My Life Please...

Singapore

2011-11-11T07:31:00.000-08:00

My dream of landing a job here, and earning SGD finally materialise.

Its like a land of opportunities and definitely an eye opener for someone like me.

I've been working for two months here in a humble mid-tier firm. Surprisingly, Singapore is not as scary as how people used to portray it. Fast moving, crazy people, materialistic place. Yeah, I cannot deny it, its pretty true in a way. However, I guess its more like a blessing that I am in this mid-tier firm rather than any Big firms, as people here are very much down to earth. I have partners acknowledging me in the lift, at the corridor, even outside before office hours. I feel so belonged, especially when bosses are able to call me by my name.

This reminded me of an incident back then in my previous firm when I actually smiled and acknowledged this particular boss whom I actually had dinner with before during his engagement. And to my surprise, he look away, totally ignoring my existence.

I dont know whether it i really a blessing in disguise as I slowly realise that I'll be shouldering lots of burden. With tonnes worth of jobs waiting for me. And being really incompetent at the moment, I constantly worry about producing disastrous outcome. Singapore tax is also giving me headache. IT'S SO FREAKING COMPLICATED.

Great news is, I am performing during my annual dinner. Will be dancing traditional fan dance. Lolz. Its a fun place to be now. And I'm enjoying every bits I am here.

May my days always stay bright.

:-)

Freshlook - Pure Hazel

2011-08-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

My failed attempt with Freshlook Pure Hazel.
As I have mentioned in my blog previously, Freshlook colored contacts gave me a lot of problems, ranging from blocked vision to having uncomfortable feelings in the eyes.
Now, I hope the picture above summarised my frustration over Freshlook's colored contacts.
Take a close look, and you can see how the contact on my right eye has slided bit off my iris. Besides that, the contact lense on my left eye doesnt look like it fitted correctly.
I'll give a plus for the color as the color, Pure Hazel did manage to change the color of my eyes to some exotic looking cat's eyes, other than that, I am unable to sing any praises about Freshlook.
This is my first failed attempt with color contact lenses, however, I'm going to venture out to try other brands, maybe for a change, I'll look into Korean brands. I hope I'll get better luck next time.

Puppy the adorable poodle.

2011-08-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

My mum came home one day, and told me that my neighbour has this beautiful poodle.
I asked her, "how big is it?"
Mum said, "go see for yourself."
So I invited my sister to pay the poodle a visit.
When I got there, my neighbour's dad was outside, and I told him, "Uncle, I am here to see your poodle. How big is it?"
And Uncle's reply to me was, " oh, you see for yourself."
Hmmm..I wonder why.
Then I heard him telling his daughter to bring Puppy out for me to see.
I enquired again, "Uncle,so it is stil a puppy?"
Uncle said, " haha..you wait and see..."

The door open, and out came this big poodle jumping up and down. I was shock.
Then I heard the daughter calling out to the poodle,
"Puppy come. Puppy don't bark."
Lolzzz..so, its not a puppy anymore. It's a big dog named PUPPY!!!

Life as an auditor - Year 1

2011-08-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

After a year working as auditor, and next week mark my last week in my current firm, I guess it would be great to write a summary of Life as a year 1 auditor.

Auditors definite work like mad, eat at odd hours,sleep at odd hours and go through pile and pile of work just to meet the deadline.
I never quite understand why all the sacrifices for work. Maybe, its the guarantee of a brighter future?? Or because, the "kiasu" feeling, not wanting to be doing anything different from others?
Auditors are clearly overwork and underpaid. Yet, I can't help but to notice the growing numbers of new joiners every now and then, not to mention, the growing numbers of people registering for accountancy/ finance course yearly.

To date, my record for longest working hours, is from 8.30am till 6am next morning. Sleep, and then get back to work at 9am till 5am...which went on for a week. I am still struggling with myself, asking whether all these sacrifices are worth it. Because, I will only know it, after like what...5 or 10 years of tolling my ass off at work. No?

I'm leaving my first year of audit life here to pursue another audit life elsewhere. Still being the "kiasu" one, I refuse to change career path, holding on to the belief that audit provides a strong foundation for everything else in the corporate world.
And yet, part of me dread the idea or forcing myself up from bed early, and to work through late nights.

First year as auditor, I sure as hell has learned many things the hard way. I've been told for not using my brain. I've been told by SIC that looking at my work makes her feel like vomitting. I was very shock and hurt. But as time goes by, I realise that, you can't just please everyone. People make mistakes, they learn, they grow up, they improve. Its not wrong to make mistakes, regardless of it being careless and stupid mistakes. We all do that.
I stop caring about what others think bout me. I stop being bothered about whether I was liked by seniors. I sure will not care about evaluation anymore in the future.
Evaluations are bias. Its always on impression. and sometimes even taken to personal level.

In this one year, I have seen how people play the dirty old office politic stuff. And it really makes me wonder a lot, whether life is really fair after all?
No, dear friends, life is never fair. It will never be.
It will just get worse, you learn to be tougher, you learn to accept, learn to let go, and move on. Whether for the better, or the worst.

My cosmetic collections

2011-08-06T19:16:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to avoid blogging these days because I think I am filled with so much negativity, I'll just emo my way through the entire blog post.
However, yesterday I went out for movie with my goodfriend Hooi Ling, watched Rise of the Planet Apes, absolutely awesome movie. We had Japanese food, and did a little shopping.
So I'm all buckled up for a more proper blogpost..and I guess I'll like to show you what's the latest cosmetic stuff I've gotten myself.

This is freshlook color contact lens. I am currently wearing the pair in "Pure Hazel", will take pictures of my eyes the next time I put them on. Freshlook is not exactly cosmetic lens. I am wearing the ones with proper power for my eyes. However, I think I might get myself real cosmetic lens instead as I've read many reviews on Korean cosmetic lens being more comfortable than these Freshlook ones. And, really, I can't imagine anything being more uncomfortable than Freshlook color contacts. Not only was I able to feel the lens in my eyes the entire time, they dry out pretty quickly in my eyes, and I don't normally suffer from any dry eye problem, so it kinda surprised me. The worst part is, they blurred my vision. I am assuming because the color on the rim of the lens kind of block part of my vision. However, after talking to another friend who wore real cosmetic lens, she said she doesnt have such problems with any of her Korean lens. So, I really don't recommend Freshlook.

These are my powder/ foundation/ BB creams. I have enough of products to cover my face from flaws, and from now on, I'd rather invest in good facials and products to maintain my face. Foundations only serve as temporary solution.

These are my lip products. I adore my first ever MAC Angel, as you can see, it is still well kept in the box!!! And of course, I love my Revlon Soft Nude given by Hooi Ling as a birthday gift. Revlon soft nude is very moisturising, and the color payoff is perfect for me.

People who know me well, definitely know my obsessions over blushes. But currently, I don't have many blushes in collection. I am trying to save for a Bobbi Brown shocking pink looking blush. I think that would need to wait till I'm earning other currency.

At last!!! My nail polish collections. I only have 5 bottles here. I have many more at home. I'm planning to buy myself a plastic drawer so that I can start buying more nail polish :-)

I hate it now that I have to place all of them in a basket on my dressing table. They have dust all over them. ARGH!

Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate

2011-07-02T05:12:00.001-07:00

*Image taken out from google*

I've neglected my blog again!!

But yeah, today, is going to be a blogpost on my latest splurge.

I didn't get very good impression of Kiehl's product after using the cleanser, toner and moisturiser. The entire set of products did not do anything bad to my skin. However, they did nothing great either. I was kinda on the fence about Kiehl's products until I had the chance to stumble upon this precious little baby.

It's called the Midnight Recovery Concentrate.

It's described as an elixir.

It is actually a mix of many essentil oils that would benefit the skin.

I was skeptical about trying this product, as it is retailing at RM200/30ml.

But, I was lucky to receive a sample that lasted me for about 2weeks of usage. And, my OH my.... I truly love this.

I applied it to my face right after toner, before my toner is completely dry. I believe this would further help the face absorp the oil/serum.

After that, I would go about with my usual routine of pimple cream, moisturiser and leave on mask.

At first I didn't think the product was any great at all. Until I finished the sample, and thought I could live without it, so I continued my skincare routine without it.

I started realising, without this potent elixir, all other products didn't absorp into my face like before. And I find it rather hard to spread my moisturiser.

After a very frustrating week of trying to get use to night regime without it, I finally bit the bullet, and head off to Kiehl's right after I got my monthly salary!!! hah...and there goes my money.

I do not regret purchasing this product. And I'm stil loving it to bits.

I read many people use about 2-3 drops per time. Some people even claim to breakout if they use more than that. I, on the other hand, use 4-5 drops. And I think it works so much better with 4-5 drops for my entire face and neck.

Do get a hold of this product if you have the chance, or at least, get a sample!!!

Help?

2011-06-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am contemplating moving my blog to a dot.com domain on its own.
But anyone care to guide me on how to do so? Like move my current blog, not just start a new blog somewhwere...

Thank you. (I am a computer illiterate, but I am willing to learn)

Not so good

2011-06-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

Today I'm drifting in and out of my thoughts again.

Flashbacks are not always good.

I hate falling back to the same point.

I really wonder, will I be truly happy one day.

Nothing is certain.

It hurts to live this way.

I am always told, only I can help myself, but how.

Have I not done enough yet.

Faith is the only thing left to hold on.

I feel pathetic bout myself.

Acne, prevention is better than cure..

2011-05-30T04:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I really think the word ACNE, has been used too randomly.
People like to exaggerate on their pimples, always referring to little zits here and there as ACNE?

I have spent my very unfruitful days at home watching youtube, and I happened to see so many video clips on,
"how i clear my acne"
"my fights with acne"
acne this acne that.
And when I click on the video to watch....
These people have one of the most amazing skin, and I seriously cannot imagine how they can start their clips with,
"my acne regime"????

Anyway, so, after browsing through like tonnes of the video clips, I guess maybe I can just list down the few items that seem to work miracle on those youtubers, and share it here with all of you. So as to save all of you the trouble of watching all those flawless skin people telling you on, "my skincare regime to combat acne"???!
And to make it short and precise, just incorporate an acne treatment product into your skincare regime. Anything from these:

- Kiehl's Acne Blemish Control Treatment
- Peter Thomas Roth Acne Clearing Gel
- Mario Madescu Anti-Acne Serum
- Dr. Murad Acne Treatment Gel
- La-Roche Posay Effaclar K
- Dermalogica Overnight Clearing Gel

These products can be drying on the skin, so just be sure to use a good serum over it, preferably, a vitamin C serum or anything that promises renewal of skin.
OR, a hydrating moisturiser will do just fine.

See.I manage to sum up a good "acne" fighting regime without much hassle.

It's like rojak in my head now.

2011-05-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

I have so much of mix feelings these days.
I look at life with so much negativity, I think it just makes me look like a grumpy old lady.
I complain and complain. Yack and yack for hours about how miserable I feel. How life aint treating me fairly.
I look around, I compare, and I feel sorry for myself.
Being sorry for myself, just aint doing me any good. I feel even worse off.

It is so bad to the extend, I prefer to go out alone. Unless I'm accompanied by really good and close friends, if not, I'd really rather be alone, shopping, watching movie, etc.
I hate it that I need to act like I'm so happy, I need to fake a smile every now and then, so that people don't feel irritated by me grieving over the past.
Doing things alone, I can pause awhile, stare into space, allow myself to digest some of the facts in life. Some of the happenings. Some of the truth. ....I have been running away from.

The echoing of a great friend's advice, is still very fresh in my mind.
" You need to be honest to yourself. Face the truth. Suffer from the hurt. And then you will heal."

Is it really true, that when we start changing our perspective about life, about misfortune that befalls us, we will be happier, and live a more fruitful life? Looking at everything bad into something to be joyful about?

My bestfriend believes that everything happens for a reason.
My religious friend believes everything happens for a cause. KARMA.

It would be more comforting to hold on to the former, than to the latter. Cause then, I will feel even more miserable, thinking and reflecting on what have I done to deserve all that is happening now.

Talking bout perspective.

Was my bday few days ago. I did not have any celebrations. I work late.
I felt so upset.
I had to literally beg a friend to take dinner with me.
I kept going about it...that my bday is so pathetic.
Finally, I guess my friend couldn't keep her patience, she questioned me,
"do u realise, you are very pessimistic?"
"I am eating with u now, and I'm buying u dinner with a slice of cake"

Yes. I failed to see that, on a brighter side, I had tonnes of friends wishing me. And at least, I had a friend who was willing to take dinner with me, and I had a slice of my favourite chocolate indulgence!!

I can't live like this forever. I need help.

Disappointed.

2011-05-07T06:21:00.000-07:00

I am so disappointed with friends around me now.
Is it true that people move on to a different direction at certain point in life? And forget their friends whom they used to laugh and talk to everyday?
I feel hurt that sometimes, approaching close friends to talk, just simply lead them to misunderstand me as having "issues" to talk about.
Can't I chat with them if I am free, and so happen to see them on MSN?

My mere "Hi!" or "Hey" or "Hello"
received response like this, "Now what?" or worse still, "what do you want?"

I believe so much that I am blessed with great friends, and now I come to realization, people change. They move forward. And it is me, the only one, who chooses to so stubbornly stand at the same spot.

Where have I been

2011-05-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been updating my blog for a very long time, I know.
Wasn't really in the mood to do so.
When I tried to log in, I was actually wondering whether my username and password can still be used....

I dont know whether it's just me being ungrateful, or it is true that I am plain unlucky in life.
As hard as I tried to prove myself worthy of my existence in the office, or rather, as a team member, I realise, conflict arises wherever I go. Many times I tried to reflect on mistakes, and unfortunate situation that befalls me, I dont go about pointing fingers blaming on one party. However, no matter how hard I tried to work, and amend mistakes, I don't think I was given the fair chance to redeem myself. I feel so demotivated.
Sometimes, I really can't justify working over weekends and late nights, right after being told off that I would be evaluated badly for mistakes I made because I wasn't competent enough during work. Sometimes I wonder, do people even evaluate themselves first, to see whether they themselves, give clear and proper guidance. To take a minute, step back and recall that once, they were just the same. As blur as I am now. As inefficient as I am now.

It truly amazes me, how people can change as they slowly gain recognition and position. From low level assoicate to senior, and eventually to assistant manager, manager, and so on. When they finally comprehend the entire situation, and understand everything on how a company works, they forget that there are lower level associates who have not achieved THEIR level of understanding YET, due to lack of experience. These associates will be just as good as THEM given the amount of time, proper guidance and exposure. I dare say, maybe even better than these bunch of high level people who apparently forget how they, as human, made mistakes too.

I hate people who take conflict during work so personally, they go all out to make your life miserable.

Very much like a robot

2011-03-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

I wake up everyday, going about the same routine.
Stare at the ceiling for some time, before I drag myself out from bed, get ready for work, stare again into my cupboard with almost not many work attires to choose from.
Since when have I stopped having interest in clothes? I have been so occupied with work, shopping has been the last thing on my mind.
Everyday,I constantly complain like a machine, tuned to go about grumbling bout the same issue over and over. I hate my life, I find fault with myself, I allow myself to go deeper and deeper into miseries, I have lost control over my own emotion. And days after days, I hate myself for becoming someone I didn't know I could be. A personality I never thought existed in myself all this while.
What happen to that happy-go-lucky girl?
What happen to the girl who used to be so contented with life, she didn't think she needed any changes at all?
What happen to the girl who loved going out, be it late night parties, or just occasional drinking sessions?
What happen to the girl who made shopping the ultimate love of her life?
WHAT HAPPEN TO ME?

Trying so hard each day, to patch my life back, bit by bit, it is painful, tiring and very mentally exhausting. All the confusions I have inside myself, my bundled up emotions, the emotional baggage I carry, and the drifting thoughts I have, I don't know where my life is leading to.

I guess I have made history in my life by exhausting friends of their patience to console me, to comfort me, and to tell me, everything will be ok.
I feel so miserable deep inside. With all the unachieved dream I have. All the hope and effort I put into things I do, leading to negative consequences in the end.
As much as I want to lead a simple and normal life, there is just the greed in me, that yearns for something more.

Life is so frustrating when one after another events happen, making me understand that,
"EVERY SUCCESS COMES WITH HARDWORK. BUT NOT EVERY HARDWORK ENDS WITH SUCCESS."

Ning and her awesome friends

2011-03-06T07:06:00.000-08:00

After realising I have more than half of my friends being "banana", and by me moving my blog to a 100% chinese writing blog, I seem to have really achieved my objective in stopping friends to read bout my personal life.
But then again, it pretty much look to me that I am in control of what to blog. So, I guess, my move to close down this blog permanently is not that wise after all.
Therefore, I plan to continue blogging here..

I went to Singapore for a short trip. For many reasons I do not want to disclose here, but of course, one very obvious reason, is to spend time with my bestfriend, Ning.

In this picture, there are four of us, with the other two being Ning's very good friends, who happened to make my stay in Singapore an awesome one too. Besides them, I have my very own best roommate, Yin Tee jie, and best college mate, Wei Jian, who took the trouble to meet up with me, and ensure my trip there was a splendid one too.

I am glad that I have such great friends, I am starting to think, life isn't treating me that bad after all.

Moved.

2011-03-02T01:09:00.000-08:00

I have moved to another blog.
It is somewhere very few of you would expect me to end up.
If you are a loyal reader of mine, and would like to follow my blog (provided you understand what I write in my new blog..:-p) , do send me a message at:
erny_tan87@hotmail.com
to request for my new blog link.

Thank you.
and till then, take care.

This feeling sucks

2011-01-16T00:38:00.000-08:00

People often say, when you hit rock bottom, what will the next thing to happen?
Is that you go up.

How true is that? When I analyse my life, and to realise that I have been hitting rock bottom for like what? More than 18months. And I'm still swimming in the deep blue sea, all I can feel is, yes, rock bottom. Can't even see the sky above to even visualise days of happiness..

I look around everyday, observing different people in life. Some are simply too good with hiding and burying their feelings, while, some, like me, gets emotional very fast. Of course, the weaker ones always lose out in every aspect.
Recently nothing seems to flow with me. Everything is so wrong. I do not want constant excitement, and continuous laughter in life. But I guess, a little peace and harmony wouldn't be too much of a request??
Why do shit happens? To make you stronger?? and how? how does it even help?

I'm so not happy here. So.Not.Happy.

Dear God, is it too much for me to ask for some changes? Bit of enlightenment. Some motivation. Courage. And self realisation? Have I ask from You too much when I was younger, and this is how I should repay for it?

Realization.

2010-12-07T05:14:00.000-08:00

Have you ever waken up one day, and come to the realization that whoever you're dating now, just isn't the right one?
And deep down inside, you know that in your quest to look for your future husband, the best thing you can do for yourself is to give this one up.
But as much as you assure yourself that you'll be alright, there is just too much emotional attachement involved, the courage you have inside, though growing stronger and stronger each day, you're still unable to convince yourself that letting go, would be doing yourself a great favour.
Instead of waking up each day, wondering into space, why you put yourself through such torture. And faith is the only thing that keeps you holding on. Holding on, believing that things will fall into pieces on its own. And believing that going with the flow is how life should be.

It seriously does not work this way. Yes, sitting here and whine till dawn meet dusk, nothing is going to change...unless someone do something about it. And if neither have the courage to voice out, then we'll both be jolly well stuck in our own comfort zone for God knows how long.

I'm just as emo as these pictures:

THE look.

2010-12-05T07:51:00.000-08:00

No. This post ain't going to be anything bout look. I'm just trying to be creative with my title, and it's quite obvious that I failed miserably here.
Anyway, well, something related to the title, a picture of myself.

Life is just a mess now for me. I don't know how much to disclose here, knowing that my blog is made public, I need to weigh the consequences of writing too much personal stuff here.
But at the moment, I think I'm having a pretty screwed up time. Don't be deceived by the smiling photo above.

My lovely family.

2010-11-30T03:42:00.000-08:00

It has been 3 months since I last saw my family. I never thought I would miss them that much, until they came to visit me. They were actually on their way home from Singapore. It was a short holiday trip for my sister. Dad insisted to stop by KL so that they can see how I'm doing.

Clear enough, I have put on weight. Not much I would say. However it looks obvious in photos and Ning told me so, that I look round in my big blog picture. That picture was taken by the bf when I visited him in Leicester on 4th Nov 2010 till 13th Nov 2010. It was a week's trip. I didn't manage to snap lots of pictures, because surprisingly winter this year came way way earlier than expected. And we were so cold, neither of us were willing to stop for long out in the cold just for some shots of the scenaries...which of course, now back in Malaysia's hot and humid weather, I kinda regretted not enjoying shivering in the cold.

Working life obviously took its toll on me. I spend at least 15min per day staring into the mirror examining my face everyday. Wondering when will the evil fine lines and wrinkles start forming. I put aside portion of my salary just to make planning for future investment in more reliable skincare. I don't fear aging. I just want to age gracefully.

But, of course, looking on the bright side, the one definite thing I enjoy about working, is that I have reasons to put on makeup everyday. The more I use, the faster it'll finish, and the sooner I can start going shopping for more stuff. I'll write more bout my working life next time.
As for now, I'm just thankful I have supportive family and my sister has apparently grown up to be a lot wiser and mature than before. And of course, being the ever so envious me, I hate that my sis looks good in everything she wears. Her fashion sense has imporoved by leaps and bounds. She makes me feel like and old aunty.

I'll be back soon

2010-11-29T03:29:00.000-08:00

I know I've been missing for way too long.
I've been having too many things to juggle than I can with both my hands.
Pardon me, but I'll be back soon.
Really soon.
Just be patient.

<3

Photos

2010-09-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

The boyfie has been randomly stealing to take candid shots of myself. I didn't know that until recently when I heard non stop clicking on his mouse during webcam session. So I curiously enquire bout it, and was so surprise to know he has a whole collection of my candid shots.
These are the few he sent to me for personal viewing. I thought, since I haven't been uodating my blog consistently, might as well just load these few pictures in.
Have a great day!

Work!

2010-09-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't been updating my blog for a long time.
Work has been great so far. Training these days, with LOTS of test to sit for. I must emphasize. Very Very hard test. But it was great. Made many new friends. And people in my work place are really nice. I don't know whether it is too early to make the assumptions, but I think I've made th right choice after all. I don't hate the fact that I need to get up and walk my way to work. So I'm guessing that I do like what I'm doing. Though I was forwarned that when peak season is up, that will be the end of my happy days. Lol. But if working late nights mean working with a group of funny and helpful people, it is not that bad.

I thought I would have problem making new friends. But i was surprise that not only did I make many new friends, I could even joke and got along well with an aunty, and an assistant manager.

I think, the next thing I need to start planning, is to buy extra working clothes. Dress well, and it makes a whole lots of difference.

I'm really sorry to dear readers, as I don't think my blog will be updated regularly as I'll be busy with work. However, I will still blog once in awhile to keep my fellow readers alert of my life.

Till then. Love ya!

Ungrateful?

2010-08-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

I think, it is just me against myself.
For the passed few weeks, I've been randomly getting upset over petty issues with the bf. Late calls, late replies, not enough attention from him...and the list goes on.
I don't know why, I'm just so filled up to the brim with negativities, that at one point, I thought I was suffering from depression, or rather, maybe I did actually suffer from depression?? Who knows.
Sobbing over webcam, complaining about the bf's lack of affection and lack of attention had been a daily issue until at last, thank God, I finally came to my senses that I need to have a life of my own. Either that, or I'll need to look at things on a different perspective. I thought it over and over, I told myself, I've gotta do something before it's too late.

So far, I've been on very good track for one week already, and I can see the bf is enjoying our webcam session recently.
Sometimes, I do feel ungrateful. I don't know why all the fuss over insufficient attention and the inadequate time allocated for me, when I think, he has done, what most guys can't do, or rather prefer not to even try doing.
It is a daily routine, out of willingness, not demanded from me, morning call to inform me he is up, and going to class. 11am+- he'll call to tell me he has a short beak. 1pm, another call to tell me he is having lunch break. 2pm+-, call to inform me he is going for class again. 4.30pm, call to let me know his class has ended. Rush home, webcam a short moment with me, then it will be my bedtime, and his dinner time. I'l sleep, wake up early in the morning, which is his night time, and webcam for another half an hour to an hour, depending on his mood, and mine.
And despite all that, I go about complaining that I feel neglected, Every. Single. Day, without fail.
Sometimes, I wish someone would tell me how to feel happy now, be thankful for the present, and stop worrying shit bout the future. Cause, obviously, I'm having a wonderful present, no?
All I care about, day and night, is to worry whether there will be a day that he'll wave goodbye to me for someone else. At times I get so pissed off at myself, because why wouldn't it be that one day I'm the one waving goodbye to him instead? Why must I be so negative? And why wouldn't it be that I'll be happily married to him instead? Why must I surround my thoughts only on how people will hurt me, and how I'm so destined to be unfortunate?

Giveaway Scout

2010-08-23T23:49:00.000-07:00

I was invited by GiveawayScout to join in the the services they are currently providing.
Let me just brief readers about it, though I have yet to entirely comprehend the idea too.
Anyway, GiveawayScout described itself as:
"Giveaway Scout is a giveaway search engine. Our users subscribe to receive updates on the latest giveaways on the web. Add your blog and your giveaways will be exposed to our large network or users."

Anyone of you who are interested, just like me, (I'm handing in my application), can do it by clicking on this link:
GiveawayScout

May you people have fun!!

How?

2010-08-17T01:06:00.000-07:00

How do you learn how to be happy and grateful for the things that happen out of your expectation?

How do you learn not to be upset, and anger bout things that don't happen when you expected them to happen?

How do you learn to focus on the positive side of life, rather than to magnify all the negative aspects of it?

I always pride myself as an easily contented girl. But truth be told, I am not. I don't even know where to derive my happiness from. How to live a fruitfull life. Or to even acknowledge the fact that I have almost a near perfect life compared to many other people in poorer countries, or to those disabled people we often bump along the way. I know very well that it is already a blessing to be able to wake up everyday and find myself breathing. Being alive itself, is a reason to put a smile on the face and march through life.

But why is it, in the end? I am still not happy.

Looking Good Is Vital??

2010-08-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

I was having this conversation on how to spend your pay, when my friend told me he puts aside RM200 per month specially to buy clothes. Shock, I asked him, how many ways can a guy dress to impress? It is ridiculous for a guy to be spending rm200 every month on new clothes. As he explained on, he said it is to buy himself a new suit of working attire every month.
Finding that statement even more ridiculous because male working attire is so simple, no one will notice it if a guy has been changing his formal blouse or his pants.
My dad has a closet filled from left to right with all light colours shirt, and many different shades of brown, black and grey pants. But throughout my life of observing him preparing to work, I hardly ever see the difference even with him diligently pairing his matching shirt and pants.
However, one thing this guy commented seems to strike in me hard and sound.

" I makesure I dress well. I need to look good to give myself the extra boost of confidence."

This is one point I have noted, thought over it. And realised, my lack of confidence, could be stamped from the very basic of, I don't yearn to look good. No, I do want to look good. But wanting to look good, and actually trying to look good, is two totally different issue.
Being so petite, and standing only at 150cm tall, my bestfriend (170cm) has always been telling me, "you need the extra height. you have all the reason to be wearing heels. why don't you wear heels?"
I guess, I do desire very much to be able to look stunning, or at least professional enough when I go work, but because having this embedded belief that short people is bornt out to fail in looking good, I basically rarely go the extra mild to ensure I am well dress enough to gain respect from people. Or rather, appropriately for occasion.

I remembered doing my internship for this well established firm two years ago. I always look around and asked myself, why do everyone look so professional in their formal clothes while I could be easily identified by clients as a trainee. But my question just stopped there, without going further to the core of the problem. Now, looking back, I could see the whole lot what differences in my dressing with the people there. I wore skirts which are way too long and oversized for me, and I didn't even bother alterting them. I wore short sleeves shirt daily, while people were all clad in long sleeves shirt. And the worse part is, I didn't even know that working clothes should be tuck in, let alone to even iron them. I wore shoes that were fit for my mum.
Now i totally understand why did my senior said this to me:
she:" You rememeber the very good looking guy I showed you in the picture?"
me: " yes? why?"
she:" he has a girlfriend already. and I can't believe it. he is so good looking, why did he chose such a plain looking girl. she is not ugly. but not pretty either."
me:" like how plain?"
she: " like YOU!"
No, she wasn't joking when she said that. Ah, yes, at that point, it did make me wonder, does it mean, someone that look like me don't deserve good looking guys? Hmm...something for me to ponder....

This 1st September, I am going to start working. I have set my mind firm on one thing. No matter what happen, I must makesure, I too set aside some money to invest in my working attire just like my friend above. I want to look good. I want to go the extra mild to look professional. I want to give people a positive first impression. I want to build some confidence in myself.
I. Will. Succeed.

Confidence is an ongoing issue in my life. Sometimes, I just hope I am borned few inches taller, and I won't be suffering that much now. And I thought confidence is of internal factor, but mine, is very much affected by my height issue. When I was a teenager, dad even told me he pitied me, and asked me whether I'll like to go for surgery in China to "pull" my bone??
Maybe, I'll start wearing more heels. Maybe, I'll start reading up more on fashion for petite. Maybe..., all I have to do, is just learn to embrace being petite.

Fenling the perfect dupe for expensive brushes

2010-08-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

You know you can never achieve great looking makeup without the proper tools?
I am a brush whore.
I buy, and buy, and buy.
When I was in UK, I either kept ordering makeup brushes from ebay, or I'll be randomly buying brushes off department stores. Boyfie actually asked me whether I was going to use them to brush my backside.
I splurge a lot on brushes as I believe the tools are just equally important as what you apply on your face.
However, my journey of collecting expensive makeup brushes ended after I return home, because in Malaysia, you can find the perfect dupe for Ecotool brushes (my holy grail brush). I have Ecotool powder brush, blush brush, travelling size kits, and the retractable kabuki brush. They cost me a lot, for someone who is still studying.
Let me unveil the perfect dupe for Ecotool brush, at a fraction of its price.

Ta-dah!!! Fenling.
Price at only RM20 for the huge, kabuki brush, and RM18 for the short handle blush brush.
I'm totally amazed by its comparable quality. Very soft and non scratchy. I really regretted being such an obsessed freak in my quest for buying Ecotools and Everyday Mineral brushes, because I could have saved a lot if only I've had stumbled upon Fenling brushes earlier.
These brushes can be purchased at Paradise Boutique along with other attractive accessories.
Go check it out people, if you haven't got any brushes yet. These are good investment.

Coach Bag and Wallet for sales?

2010-08-08T05:05:00.000-07:00

When you're desperate for cash, this is what you do.
Sell whatever that is of value.
New Coach bag and wallet.
Bought when I was in UK from UK Ebay.
I have NEVER used them before. Brand new!

My price: Bag at rm590, wallet at rm400
Take both at rm1000 *special*

Budak kampung

2010-08-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

I am bored to death.
My dearest boyfie will be heading back to UK tomorrow. And my dearest bestfriend has left Malaysia for Singapore few days ago. I'm left here all alone.
This explains it all for my stupid random pictures that speak it all on how damn rusty and bored and mad I've currently been.

*oh ya, that Chipmunk is my make-believe boyfie, whenever I'm chatting with boyfie, and I get upset, I'll punch this poor thing in front of him.*

My sunscreen reviews

2010-07-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

I used to be called Puteri Lilin back then during secondary school. I hated the sun. I still hate the sun. And I bloody know well that I'll continue hating the sun for as long as I live.
Hence for my obsession with sunscreens. Any recommendation on Holy Grail sunscreen, and I won't hesitate to try it out.
For the records, I have started of with Clinique sunblock spf25, it did pretty well on me, though it made my face oily and greasy like nobody's business, I didn't know there are drier sunblock on the market at that time, and I diligently finish using it. Next sunblock was Biotherm makeup base + sunblock which cost me rm139, and it broke me out and caused my face to be so oily, I seriously think they should reconsider recommending it as a makeup base. I then settled with Dermalogica tinted sunblock. I was using it until I went to UK, and my friend recommended me the Dermalogica solar defence booster. From then on, I have been on my search for THE perfect sunscreen, and have yet to come by any.

In my current stash:

Za True White day protector, Dermalogica solar defence booster, and Liz Earle mineral sun cream.

Here are the swatches:

I actually prefer the finishes of Za True White day protector, very matte, and dry, and it actually makes my complexion looks brighter and smooth. However on the downside, I broke out from it. Not that bad, but I didn't want to take any chances of worsening it, therefore I stopped using it after 10days. Now, I'm applying it on my hands instead.

I hate Dermalogica solar defence booster out of the 3. I don't know why. I look horrible with it on. My face looks so greasy and oily, and feels very yucky as well. Don't be fooled by the light texture, it gives a horrendous result at the end of the day. Good thing, it didn't break me out at all.

I am currently using my Liz Earle mineral sun cream.. it is slightly too thick for my liking, because the texture is creamy. However, since it does not break me out, and I don't look that bad with it on, thus, I have no choice but to use it. Though I brush on powder everyday before I step out of the house with this sunscreen, as it does make me look a tad oily too.

I hope my brief review here will help readers decide on their next sunscreen purchase.
I'm eyeing the shiseido face and body spf55 sunscree. haha...buying that when I get my first ever salary!

Money Money Money...

2010-07-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

Lol, and few weeks ago, I was asking friends, why wasn't anyone calling me for interview...and now I am here, happy with job offers, and calls for interviews. Haha...but I've very much settled for THE firm, since I've gone through with the medical checkup. Yes. Medical checkup that required my blood to be taken. I know, it will sound like no big to deal to most people, especially Ning who willingly went to the hospital wanting to donate her blood. But
needle + Tan Wei Ern= NONO...
I was telling the lady injecting me, I SO DAMN REGRET APPLYING FOR THIS JOB!!! Rawrrrr.....
why must I go through this medical chekup?? ARGH!!!
She replied me, "Then you should work for this firm untill you're old, since you have gone through with the pain" =.='''

Besides blood test, I needed to go through urine test, eyesight, audio test, and x ray of my chest. Lol. Final outcome, the doctor said everything is fine, except that I am underweight.

I have found myself a decent place to stay, and now can start dreaming of all those wonderful skincares and makeup products I've been longing to buy. Haha...

Anyway, people, I have lots to update, but without pictures, I don't feel like typing much.
So, stay tune...

Lack of inspirations to do anything

2010-07-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

I have so many things up my sleeves recently.

With a HTC Smart that has no wifi function, though I've been weighing the pros and cons of selling it off, finally I've decided to use it instead. And there I go, cursing it everytime I see a wifi spot.

I have my first ever celcom broadband bill that needs to be settled immediately, and I'm still procrastinating.

Looking at my first ever bought Coach handbag and wallet I carried all the way back from UK, I am debating whether I should put both up for sales. They are new and haven't been used yet. I'm sure they can fetch great prices.
With the money I get, I can at least invest in something more beneficial, exp: a better laptop, or a white sapphire ring as a talisman against bad luck. I simply can't find any reasonable excuse for me to keep the designer stuffs with me, as I am pretty contented with just carrying any bags regardless of it being high end brand or just cheapo stuff I order online.

Still thinking very hard, whether I should trade in my HTC Smart and top up to buy myself a hp with, at least a wifi function....hhmm....but then again, I'm planning to subscribe to Digi unlimited online access, so the wifi function would pretty much be redundant. However, as of now, I feel the lack of wifi function is killing me.
Any suggestions??

A trip of fun and madness

2010-07-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

I was so excited when I received a phone call from xxx firm to attend an interview. I have been waiting for an interview call, and being jobless for months have affected my financial situation badly.

When my friend Ling got to know about it, she jumped onto the opportunity to head down KL with me. We left on 12th morning by flight. Reached LCCT an hour plus later, with a "private driver" awaiting us at the car park. Lol...no no...he is a friend of Ling, called Vito. Lucky me, riding on my friend's good fortune, I had a free ride all the way down to KL.
Actually, besides free ride, I got free dim sum breakfast too! And free Hagan Daaz chocolate fondue. And free steamboat. And free next day's lunch. Best of all, free transport to the door step of the xxx firm. Damn. I should have bought a small gift for him as a token of appreciation, but too bad, my very "kering" pocket, and a long "to-buy-list" do not allow me to buy him anything in return. But I am sure, I'll work something out when I'm offered this job!! (starhill in the process)

Vito brought us to Midvalley, first destination. I couldn't find the the Romp shorts that I have been eyeing on. So, next place, we proceeded to Sunway Pyramid. There, I managed to buy the Vinnci shoes I heart heart heart so much, with the perfect size of 4.5!!! Can you believe it??
Unfortunately, the Romp clothes shop there ran out of size "s" black colour shorts I wanted. So, Vito asked the salesperson to make phone calls to other Romp branches. Found only one left in Sungai Wang's branch. We asked for it to be reserved!! hah...and off we went....
Stopped at Times Square, and walked over to Sungai Wang.

I think this is like the craziest thing I've ever done. Covered 4 shopping malls in just one day. And not even the entire day. Just half the day. I've never done that before. Damn. And if I were to count Lot 10 in, that would be 5 shopping malls!!

And, here are the pictures of the day....

Penang trip

2010-07-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

Ning wanted to go shopping badly irregardless of whether it was just a day's trip down to Penang, or few days trip down to KL.
So, when she knew another friend was driving down to Penang, she hopped onto the idea of taking a ride down too. So, we went to Gurney Plaze for our short shopping spree, and caused me to suffer from bad heartaches as I fell head over heels for a pair of awesome looking HEELS in Vincci. Unfortunately for my non-existence cash inflow, Ning told me to reconsider the idea of purchasing the heels, or maybe at least postpone the idea till I get myself a job.
I went home with only one purchase of the day, a bottle of Shiseido- Aqua label cleansing oil.
Here are some pictures of the day....

May all ends well.

2010-07-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

I just bathed, and upon realising there was no body shampoo nor soap, guess how I improvised whatever that was in the toilet?? I grabbed my sister's very much neglected and abandoned facial cleanser, poured some liquid out on my palm, and happily had it slapped all over my body.
A.W.E.S.O.M.E

Bestfriend has a new aim to achieve, and that's to feel less irritated by certain people, or rather one particular person.
I , on the other hand have a new aim to reach out too, and that's to start having control over myself.
Firstly,I need to stop being a control freak. Though I very much know that boyfie has the least problem with me checking his emails, and constantly shooting random questions on his whereabouts, and what he is doing, cause he thinks that is a form of showing concern. Hah!!
But still, i acknowledge it as a very FLAWED part of me, and I am steadfast in lessening my possessive behaviour if not, getting rid of it.
Boyfie can be as understanding as possible, letting me direct how he should go about with his daily activities, but I don't think living my entire life trying to take control of his life as well as juggle it between mine is the ideal relationship I want to go on pursuing.
Now, the only thing I want to control, is, myself.
Well, keep the blog updated on my progress, but I am proud to say I've been a very nice girlfriend, giving lots of space to my boyfie these days, and in return, he does send me on/off very sweet online messages just to assure me I'm constantly being thought off. ( on his own will )

Now, I'm having a headache. An interview in a week time, I am prepared for the worst, but pray for the best. Not that I'm very much interested in joining this firm, but it is always better than having nothing to do, and watching my unused Celcom broadband sitting on my table screaming out to me that I'll need to settle the bill soon!!
I think I'm better off going to attempt some IQ questions now to makesure my very rusty mind is still in perfectly functioning condition.

Control freak.

2010-07-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

"It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized."

- Wayne Dyer -

Quote of the day....

2010-07-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

"I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle."

Current obsessions..

2010-07-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

*a pic of me eating in pizza hut*

I don't think I need to go over and over in my blog that my past, current and future obsessions will always be my quest for the best make ups and skincare. I'm a vain pot. Who isn't?

However, truth be told, I'm actually taking this wonderful opportunity that my bestfriend, Ning, is back, to learn more bout how to ensure a working relationship.
I am no noob in relationship. Neither am I an expert in one.
The only thing I jolly well know is that, trust must be present in every relationship. Respect, and followed by, good communication.
Recently, I don't know what is going on. Whether God is blessing me, and guiding me through a smooth journey. Or was it all just pure coincidence??
Since boyfie got home, we have yet to get into any big fights, and even my "merajuk-ing" time wouldn't last more than 15minutes.
I'm a VERY, extremely sensitive girl. Every little thing, I'm able to create a havoc out of it.
But nowadays, whenever I think boyfie has been neglecting me for quite some time, and when I was just about to QQ (china msn) him, his message will reach me first, asking me, what am I doing.
When he is out with friend, and I feel he has not contacted me for some time, as I pick the phone up preparing to make a fuss, his message will reach me first, telling me he will be back soon, and that he'll look for me over QQ.
I feel weird. It is like God is helping me to avoid any unnecessary quarrels and fights. Giving me some peace. Lessen my doubts.
I dare not feel happy or overjoyed with the current situation, as I know too overly type of emotions will just lead to major disappointment when things suddenly just fall flat again.
But I just want to take this opportunity to thank God, for at least letting me have some uneventful but easy going life and relationship, and to have my bestfriend, Ning, here to enlighten me on how a relationship should be managed, how trust should be embedded in the mindset, and appreciate my bf as he is now.
For the part on my relationship, I'm contented, and thankful.
For the part on my job search, I'm hopeful, and praying.

My biggest obsession with life now, is very much to keep learning. Not merely on academic stuff, but more on how to look at life, and improve myself.

Boyfie in Kuala Lumpur (part 2)

2010-06-29T23:39:00.000-07:00

Just like I've mentioned, Oi siew & hubby brought us around KL.
We took picture at Dataran Merdeka, KL tower and twin tower.
I was bad at telling him Malaysia's history. He kept asking me why is BM language in alphabets?? How does it coincide with the English alphabets?
I told him, it just so happen we used alphabets, and the Europeans too. He went home, googled it up, and found I was talking rubbish.
I was embarrassed that he knew his China history at the tip of his fingers, and I, on the other hand could actually tell him Dataran Merdeka was the place we announced kemerdekaan?? (was it not??) and luckily I didn't go about on Tunku Abdul Rahman shouting Merdeka!! Merdeka!! there. (cause it definitely did not happen there, did it??)

We were on our way to Genting. Public transport is such an ass in Malaysia.

In the cable car where boyfie approached a guy to help us take a picture. I love this picture.

My boyfie in front of the casino which we stood staring at for some time, debating on whether it really is a casino.

Owh, another of my favourite picture. In front of Pavilion that night after coming back from Genting!

Boyfie in Kuala Lumpur

2010-06-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

After two days in Kedah, I brought my dearest to KL..I had great plans for him which failed terribly because of the stupid bus that was so fucking slow....and then something happened to the door, and we were asked to change over to another very THE buruk bus.
I felt so embarrassed for the inefficiency in Malaysia's bus system, and also was pissed at my ruined plan.
Thank goodness boyfie was kind enough to assure me that, it didn't matter, he was there to see me, visiting is just secondary.
However, of course, I still managed to bring him to THE famous shopping spots. My all time favourites.

Later that night, I'm so thankful for the group of "ji mui"..as in "sisters" I have.
Eventhough they have been working their ass off the entire day...they made a steamboat gathering especially to welcome my boyfie to Malaysia.
Their sincere hospitality made him feel so at ease, and I was so glad they hit it off well too.
Boyfie was busy barbecueing food for my friends, and taking food for them. However, to them, they could only see the part where he kept taking the food non-stop, and everyone stared at me, asking me, "your boyfriend can eat a lot, huh??"
Lol, he was actually taking food for others, he didn't eat THAT much, though he can actually eat A LOT.

So glad that we had our "4 flowers" sister's gathering. Though our gang actually consist of 5. Another so-called traitor is still enjoying herself in UK. No lah...she is not a traitor...she is our youngest sister. I saja want to "kek" her here. But I doubt she reads my blog.
Nevermind, I shall leave her a facebook comment to read it.

After the steamboat, Oi Siew and her hubby were so kind enough to bring us around KL, and took some pictures of KL view for us.
This will be continued in my next episode of
BOYFIE IN KUALA LUMPUR PART 2!!

Boyfie in Kedah.

2010-06-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

My boyfie spent two days in Alor Star with me.
We went to watch movie - Toy Story 3. My brother asked my future sis-in-law to introduce it to boyfie and me. We headed the advice and had a great time freezing to death in the cinema.

Beside that, the very night, my bestfriend Ning rang me up. Gawd. I forgot she was scheduled home that evening. She drove over my house instantly to meet up with my boyfie. I was glad they went off on good note, and I am so happy my bestfriend approves him!! Lol, not that it'll do much difference if she doesn't, but it is always better to have your best buddy out there giving you the thumbs up!
She introduced him to my favourite food of all time - Laksa!
I still haven't asked him his opinion on the laksa, though I had a very disappointing answer regarding my tomyam treat. He said he was positively sure there was soap powder in it. =.='''

Boyfie ate papaya too...and he gave half back to me telling me he thought it stinks. But when I ate it, I thought that was like the best papaya I've ever eaten. Those in my house stink far worse than that.

At the end of the day, we retired to my new house in Jitra, had a great time showing him around Alor Star, my dearest hometown!

Boyfie trip to Malaysia

2010-06-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

The long anticipated trip was finally on when my boyfie kept up to his promise, and flew in all the way from Beijing.
Everyone, from family to friends, were so excited. Needless to say, I was THE most anxious among all.
My dad was especially nice to him as daddy knows very well that boyfie sayang his beloved daughter as much as he does.
Mummy was so nice as to suggest bringing boyfie to a restaurant which serves coconut jelly, because my very DIFFERENT boyfriend pointed at a coconut tree and ask me, "what is that tree?"

We settled for Rung Reng, a Thai restaurant at Jitra. I love the food there. However, boyfie had difficulties adjusting to the weirdly sour taste in most dishes.
Though the main character of the day was boyfie, but we were all shock to see my brother, the ever reclusive and usually do not bother bout my family affair fellow, made a grand appearance with his gf. I felt so blessed and grateful to my brother for his support because he was the last person on earth that I would ever dare to expect turning up for a dinner with boyfie.
He even shook hands with boyfie the minute they met.

Everything went on well with the family meet ups, and greetings, and the get-to-know-each-other session.
I am so pleased with it.
Currently I am still in the hotel opposite Sungai Wang. Boyfie will be back tomorrow.
Better stop blogging now, and get back to teman-ing my dearest boyfie.
Ending my blog with two preview pictures of boyfie and my family.

God

2010-06-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

Give me the courage to believe and live.

Let me have faith.

Allow it to flow well.

Hope what I ask for is not too much.

I promise to be a better person.

Just please grant me THE wish I desperately want.

And I thank God for giving me a supportive dad.

An extra friend

2010-06-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is just a random pic for today.

I've finally learned well from what my dad has been trying to inculcate into me all this while.
Whenever I come home to complain and curse at certain people/friends, dad will always say the same thing, "be good to others. you never know when you'll need ppl's help"...

Of course, the stuck up me, will always shut my dad up by telling him that I have dozen of capable friends who will always be there to help me.

Roughly bout a year ago. Some friends and I attended the tutorial class of another group of students. This particular class rep was very furious at us for dominating part of the seats in his class, he asked us to all sit at the back of the class.
Out of anger I scolded him in front of the entire class. Embarrassed the shit out of him.
Therefore, whenever we bump at each other around college, we'll look away, or just put on this, "i don't give a shit at you" face.

Thank goodness, before I left UK for Malaysia, my friend asked me whether I'm willing to help her pass some stuff to a guy called XX, that is THE class rep who happened to be the next batch coming to UK. After hesitating awhile, I thought, well it should be about time, I make peace with him, and also, well to not have to look away from him anymore.
I agreed. Met up with him. Spoke politely. Showed him around. And little did I expect myself to be in contatc with him anymore.

Now that I am back in Malaysia, and suddenly out of my sane mind, decided to go back to UK. I needed the visa letter from my university. Couldn't enlist any help from anyone known.
I then put on a thick face, and wrote a facebook message to XX explaining my situation, and asking him whether he is able to help me.
He replied politely, and days later actually went to work things out with the University for me.

Lesson to be learnt here. It really is best to have an extra friend than enemy. Always look at the good in one, and never the bad. You will not know when will you be in trouble, and who will help you in the end.
I sure did learn mine well. And thank God it isn't late to do so.

Thoughts flying about

2010-06-14T05:44:00.000-07:00

This life of mine, I look back, and wonder is there anything that I would love to change about it??
Very often, people said that, everything in life happens for a reason. You'll fall, stand up again, and learn from the mistake, make sure no more falling again, but you'll eventually still fall *chuckles*, stand up, learn from it, try avoiding the same mistake, fall again, stand up, learn again, and be more careful, but you'll fall again........stand up, learn.......Gosh!!
Now, I finally understand how life works. Falling is unavoidable in life.

I am so torn apart. Many decisions to make. Some will lead to happiness, and some to sadness. Some will gurantee short term pain, but long term joy.
I hate to think that every decision in life, we make it, and we shoulder the consequences. No such thing as pointing fingers at others. And no such thing as blaming people for giving wrong advices.

At times, I tend to wonder whether I should be grateful for these things that are happenening to me now? Or these are just temporary situations that will lead to mass destruction of my life one day.

Follow your heart...oh, follow your heart....
Gotta follow my heart closely, and pray for the best.

The heels I love soooo much!

2010-06-13T00:12:00.000-07:00

I bet those who have been following my facebbok shoutout will know just how badly I wanted a new pair of heels.
My sis and I are loyal fan of Vivi Magazine. The very famous taiwan fashion mag. Cost an effing rm9 per issue, but we usually take turn to buy it monthly. Worth. Every. Damn. Ringgit.

So, The latest issue we could buy was the May issue. And let me tell you, if you have yet to know, the current trend is all about earth colour, and going nude, literally.
I was obsessed with collecting nude lippies, and since I found my Holy Grail nude lippie in Revlon Soft Nude, I started out on a hunt for nude heels.
I fell in love with this pair of cuties instantly. And I'm glad I made four trips to the mall before deciding on grabbing it home. Why so?? Cause on the fourth time, they had 20% sales, RM119 to RM95. That's definitely a steal!!!

So, people, well, feast your eyes on my new killer keels!

My latest addition!

2010-06-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

Hi people,

Very sorry for the lack of updates recently. Been very busy with exam, though it is over now, was not very happy with how i performed then, anyways, we'll let bygones be bygones..

Recently, I have been very much into shopping. My recent collections are:

1) Queen Helene Mint Julep mask
I think it is a great deal. Comes in a REALLY big tube. Cost me only RM 35 ( i think), and i guess it'll take me ages to finish it up. I'm very please to have purchase it. Very ideal for people with oily skin. Big pores. And for whoever that has tiny bumps or pimples. It does its job of sucking out impurities darn well. Though the last thing I have is oily skin and big pores, but it works well on my face, makes it smoother, and ah...I just felt a lot cleaner after using it.
I personally have this belief that it is not about just using great skincare, but also to do mask and scrub on your face diligently to secure a more radiant complexion.

2) Etude house duo fiber stippling brush
I was walking around jusco, and there I saw, Etude house was having crazy 40% sales for its brushes. I have read a lot bout this brand having very worth it brushes, and I knew I need to get this special one. Have been highly raved everywhere. I have yet to used it. Just got it wash, and it did not bleed at all. And does not feel scratchy at all. Awesome, no?

3) Best of all, today, I finally bought the heels I have been eyeing on for weeks. Been checking it out for four damn trip to the mall. Today, I told myself, no the colour I want, I'll settle for anothe colour, no the size I want, i'll settle for another quite similar but other style heels, I was steadfast in getting one out. And I was overjoyed to find the perfect size and colour that I wanted. To top it all, the heels were on 20% sales. RM119 to RM 95...
Stay tune ...i'll be having pictures of my beloved heels here soon....................!!!

Exam

2010-06-05T05:13:00.000-07:00

I'll be away for a few days, to sit for my last paper on 8th June.
Will start updating more after I come back from KL.
Wish me luck. I sure need it badly!!

Revlon Colorburst Lipstick + my shopping trip..

2010-05-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

Besides getting "ang pao" from my mum and aunty, the one and only pressie I received for my birthday, and love dearly, is this lipstick - Revlon Colorburst in soft nude. (sorry, pic I randomly google. lazy to snap mine) this was a gift from my darling, Hooi Ling. (thanks a lot)

Been having this in my wishlist for as long as I knew it was out in the market.
It feels soft, moisturise, and weightless on the lips. Colour payoff is fantastic, and I'm starting to make mental notes on other colours that I might be getting soon!! I think, next on the list will be the colour - mauve!!
Thus far, my all time favourite nude lippie. Can be worn on its own. No worries...as it does not give that dead matte look, but brings with it creamy feeling, with a touch of gloss. Damn. I love it to bits!

I wore it out yesterday when I was in Penang shopping...I haven't been out for a long time. And I was on a mad rush to buy whatever I see that I like, and fit me well.
Sadly, I wore my new high heels, and gosh...didn't know that 6 months of not walking in high heels, I was suffering the entire time, trying to walk properly, and to nurse my poor feet...
It is either,
1) heels to high
2) size too small
3) too long never walk in heels
I was begging my sister to change shoes with me. Lol..she was wearing Adidas sneakers..(imagine me in that with this dress on???!! Eeww...but when you're in pain, you won't even mind walking bare footed)
Ah...get back to the centre of discussion, my revlon lipstick. Here are the pictures to justify it. Though I don't think these pictures do it any justice, as its colour is soo much prettier in real.
I love nude lippies now so much. Though they may make me look wash out. But I have had enough of looking at my too pigmented lips...this is the perfect holy grail for me.

I'll just take the opportunity to state what I have on my face (must make it look more pro..like a real beauty blogger..kekeke...)

Face*
-dermalogica sunblock
-No.7 tinted moisturiser in light
-Rimmel Stay Matte Loose Powder
-E.L.F blush (the one that comes with bronzer on one side)

Eye*
-Urban Decay eyebrow powder on eyebrows.

Lip*
-Korres lipbalm in jasmine
-Revlon Colorburst lipstick in soft nude.

Have a great day people!!

What on earth happen???

2010-05-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

Beware to those conservative readers...you are warned beforehand that this post contains uncensored picture..

I seriously do not understand how on earth did this happen. You'll be shock.
The bf, as usual attached this very amazingly cute pictue of two little kitties doing the Titanic stunt in one of his latest mail.

Being unaware of anything suspicious, I click on the exact mail few days later, to read the mail again, cause that was one of the most meaningful mail he wrote to me, and, imagine my shock when my cute little kitties turned into this very disgusting picture......
(and mind you people, the black coloured part, I drew it on my own, so that I won't be accused of turning my blog into some underage pornography section.
.
..
...
....
.....
.....
.......
........
........

Terrible ain't it?? I called up the bf immediately and ask whether he pulled a prank on me. He was dumbfolded. When he check back the mail, and to his utter horror, he saw this, he went nuts, cursing and scolding whoever, and whatever did this.
Up until now, we have discussed it over and over, yet could not come up with a proper explanation, to how did this happen....

My birthday!!

2010-05-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

My birthday is coming soon....and I've already planned how I'll spend my birthday money.
The first thing I will definitely buy, is THE pair of heels I have been eyeing on. Then, I may spend part of my money on some nice dresses. I haven't bought any yet ever since I came home to Malaysia. Then, some money will go for online shopping....a makeup junkie like me can never live without doing monthly makeup purchases.
However, I will be saving some of my money up, just so I can hangout with friends in July when I head to KL. I really need to hit the clubs one of these days. Been absent from the clubbing scene for way too long.
But most importantly, I'll save most of my money for something greater in July, which I prefer to not disclose it, for fear I might jinx the entire thing. :-)

Now, time to get back to my studies. But stay tune, as I hope to have more interesting stuff to write next time...

Lush solid perfume

2010-05-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

According to the website,"Honey I Washed The Kids" Solid Perfume by Lush smells like this:
"If your idea of heaven on earth is walking into a fudge shop, you’ll probably want to smell of Honey, I Washed the Kids all day long. It’s named after our honey toffee scented soap, which has been a best-seller since day one because its fragrance is lip-smackingly delicious. It's vegan, it's got one of the most addictive, creamy scents you can imagine and it's a must have for toffee lovers."

It was a very last minute decision when I dragged the bf all the way to Lush shop in UK. I find the shop and the products rather interesting. Everything is made of organic stuff...see..
they have cute looking cleanser that is made of charcoal, or seaweed, or....would you rather have herbs??
The shop smell fragrant, which most people would find it to be a pain to the nose, but I thought it suited me well. I am a frangrance freak!!
My initial attempt visiting Lush was to purchase the very rave about moisturiser..called "vanishing cream"...but at the price of 15.25pound, I wouldn't mind paying for it if it comes in a tube form. Too bad the idea of sticking my fingers into the product just doesn't sound too hygenic to me.
I knew Lush is like the 'it' thing in UK, and i felt stupid for not buying something out from the shop. So, i conveniently grabbed whatever is the cheapest there. And it happened to be this, the solid perfume.
I wasn't very happy with my purchase at first. Thought a normal designer perfume would do sooo sooo much better.
However, now that I'm back in Malaysia, I find this rather special to own. The smell is different in the sense that it manages to stand out from other commonly used designer perfume. And of course, the smell lasted way way longer than any designer perfume.
Though taking my first sniff at it from the tin, I hated the smell. But I realised it changes to something really sweet and fruity once applied to the skin. I would definitely try out the other choices if given the chance.

For those who are interested, you can check out:
http://www.lush.co.uk/

And fellow Malaysians can actually order it from sgdrugstore in lowyat.net through this link:
http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/871664

The current spree is closed at the moment.So be patient for the next spree!

Listen to these, original songs!

2010-05-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

My very talented sister WROTE these two songs...I am her number one fan!! Yay!

Another head shot?

2010-05-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

First of all, I'll like to take this opportunity to shout out in my blog that my MSc result came out few days ago.
Glad to announce here that I pass with commendation = merit.
Really didn't expect that after realising my dissertation lacks substance, and at the rate I snailed myself to the dateline, this must have been GOD's blessing.

So, many friends told me that I really should get another shot of my passport size photo. So many constructive comments. One even told me my previous photo doesn't look like me at all. *wth! that was unedited piece,k*
Someone also told me that, your look is your asset, therefore, please attach your best shot in your resume.
For the sake of my future, I headed out again, this time, I went to a shop I'm familiar with, snapped a few pictures, and the kind lady allowed me to choose whichever pics I want.
So, my final outcome....
ta-dah!!!

( too much bronzer....my face looks so tanned....and I used wrong color on my cheek, coral! totally can't stand out, should have added red blush instead...damn! )

Check this out

2010-05-14T22:34:00.001-07:00

If you're a follower of my blog, you should know that before came back, I bought a set of Lize Earle products, cleanser, toner, moisturiser, sunblock, eye cream, smoothing line serum, and eye lotion.
Ever since I came home, I've been a diligent user of these products up untill now, which is more than two weeks already.
And I am so happy with the outcome.
Having nothing to do at home beside burrying my head in books, I have been obsessively checking out my complexion in the mirror. I'm definitely a satisfied user of Liz Earle products.
And, to whoever residing in the UK, you people should really grab a set of their skincare. Awesome products.
And, to whoever NOT residing in the UK, but DO NOT mind the insanely expensive international shipping cost of 15pound,
do check out Liz Earle website:
http://uk.lizearle.com

I shall end my post today with some pictures my sister took and edited.

Horrible passport size photo?

2010-05-12T05:17:00.000-07:00

It is just too bad I don't have a scanner to scan my "actual" washed out photo and get it uploaded, you guys will be shock to see the difference after the photoshop.
Forgive my very ugly passport size pic. Not many people look good in their passport photos, or IC photos or whatever photos that are taken in that split of second, no? So, well, i'm no exception.
This shop in my hometown called Naga Emas has always been known to do some editing here and there to their customers photo before developing it. I've always had quite good luck with them, therefore, I headed over there to take another shot so that I can start applying for job.
To my utter shock. They over edited my photo, and I look like a transsexual (according to my sis) with a fake wig. DAMN! Paid RM13 for 8 pieces. So, now I open the CD to see the original photo, and my my....I do look normal here, and why didn't they just fucking wash out this photo without any editing??
They even "slim-kan" my face in the edited photo, make my complexion look flawless which I don't see for what as I have tinted moisturiser on already. Yes, they even got rid of the eyebag for me and the slight wrinkle at the side of my mouth as I smile!!!
I swear if I were to use the edited photo for a visa application, I will definitely be rejected! I couldn't even recognise myself in the fucking photo. I wonder what shock will my potential employer get when they see the actual me walking into the interview room, and the so "ah-kua-ish" picture I send in to them. Or maybe, I won't even be asked for an interview!
I guess, I'll just bring the CD and have the picture washed out by other shop that will NOT fucking do over excessive editing for me. Or rather, I prefer, no editin at all.

I don't look that bad in this picture, do I?? That I need such drastic photoshop until I look like some Thailand pondan *no offense to anyone*

My trip to France. Last country of my Europe visit

2010-05-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

I am sorry, but I am in no mood to blog. So I'll just let you readers look at the pictures.

Cutie Cute Boyfriend

2010-05-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

I seriously haven't master the skill of dealing with long distance relationship. At first it was good..then I started getting upset for nothing, and then it led to emo-ing for the last two days.
Thank goodnes, it was just a phase. Now, I'm glad I am able to think wisely instead of being all emotional.

I'm so grateful that the bf has been very understanding, and tried to address whatever issues I have.
He know me too well now, and I guess, I don't even need to tell him the reason why I'm upset, he could very well figure it out.
The latest mail he wrote to me, and I read it today, he said this:
"When you study, please concentrate, you don't have to think of me, cause all you need to do is tell youself that I will always be thinking of you." Then he bracket this ( but I'm sure you'll be thinking, 'and what if he really isn't thinking of me?') Lol.... he got it damn right man. I wasn't even given the chance to pose him with that question, he has already addressed it, and gave me an answer to it.

The bf thinks I'm too manja, and when I'm good, he calls me "xiao mao", little kitten
when I'm playful, he calls me "jia fei mao", garfield.
when I joke with him, I like to call myself "ka fei mao", coffee cat.
when I'm emo and start to throw tantrums, he calls me "ben mao", stupid cat.

Ever since I came home, he wrote me emails consistently everyday, cute pictures of cats will be attached to long emails to make my day. So far, I have 4 cutie pies here....

Pic 1# So, this was enclosed in the first email. I told him I'm the white cat, and he is the black one. Damn cute!!

Pic 2# Came in the second email...

Pic 3# <3 it so much.....<3 bf even more...

Pic 4# Yesterday I was so emo I refused to speak to him, and left him talking over the webcam for one whole solid hour. He did nothing to piss me off. I felt I wasn't getting enough attention from him cause he couldn't reply my message on time as he was working.
His email was so long, trying to make me understand his situation. Just as I made up my mind, I was not going to give in, this cutie pie attached at the end of the email, stating that this is him now...I couldn't help it but to smile....and he caught my smile over the webcam, no chance for me to "jual mahal" anymore...lol....

I hope these pictures will guide me through the times when I'm down and emo. I guess, what is important now, is that, I know he really cares. And I care for him too!

Part 2 of Rome

2010-05-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

Bf and I have been doing well. Webcam, consistent calls and messages from him. I've never felt that secured before in my life.
Staying home is very boring. Especially in ulu kedah.
Can't wait to get my ass off here. Maybe to KL for shopping? But then again, dad gave me only RM100 and expect me to survive with it till 6th June. How pathetic can it be?

I was so surpirse when I came home and check out my sister's wardrobe. There were so many freaking damn pretty dresses in it. Good thing we are of the same size. It is time for me to do some stealing!!

I am nearly rotting off, beside the fact that I'm supposed to be studying for my last ACCA paper.
But I have no mood. I just feel tired everyday.
And my mum is giving me a hard time here. So effing pissed off.
Feel like grabbing my bag and catch the next train off to KL. Too bad I have no where to stay for the next one month if I'm there.

Anyway, all the emo-ness apart, these are some pictures of Rome.

Rome...part 1

2010-05-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

Before I start my introduction on Rome, I'll like to shout out,
"I am finally back in Malaysia"
I miss my bf dearly. It was a heart wrenching departure. His eyes were all red. I knew he wanted to be strong, so that he could console me. At last, ended up, he shedded more tears than I did.
Bf is currently asleep. So, I'm free to update my blog.

I can't remember much about Rome. Everything looks the same to me. Fine arts, sculpture, and historic buildings. So, have a look at the pics then...

Romeo and Juliet??

2010-04-28T22:43:00.000-07:00

Obviously, everyone knows of the famous love story of Romeo and Juliet.
But how many of you actually knew that it was a true story? Immortalised by Shakespeare?
For as long as I live, I have always wanted to read up this story in the original version. My mum has the book. However, I really can never comprehend it. Looks like some drama script instead of an actual narrative story book.
Well, the amazing part is, my mum has read most of Shakespeare's masterpiece. And everyone of them, written in the original manner. Big Big salute to my mum!! Either that, or I'm just too stupid.

Now, as I visited Verona, the place where the actual Romeo and Juliet incident took place, I learned of the very appaling truth about this love story.
As insane as it may sound, but Juliet was only 13 years old at that time. *wtf???!*
I can't help it but to wonder, at 13, and she could make up her mind that it was worth dying for a MAN ??
No, how can I refer to Romeo as a man? Guess his age?

He was 16 at that time. Gosh! A BOY maybe.

Now...let the pictures speak it all.

Pic 1. Juliet's house. That was the balcony that Juliet normally stood, and where Romeo came to talk to her, confess to her, and climb into her room.
I couldn't help it but to wonder, were there times, when he actually fell off trying to climb into the balcony?

The very sexy Juliet. At 13, no wonder my tourist guide said, she blossomed too early.
Her boobs are obviously bigger than mine.
Oh, people believe that touching her right boobs, and your love life will be blessed?
Look at how shining it is in comparison to her other parts, cause too many people touch dy.

Shakespeare. He wasn't from Verona. But they made this to remember his great masterpiece.

Rimmel Stay Matte pressed powder

2010-04-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

Actually, I have been contemplating to make my blog into a beauty blog instead. But then again, I wouldn't want give myself the burden of constantly having the need to buy new stuff so that I can keep my blog alive with interesting products, and reviews.
Therefore, I guess, once in a while, I'll just slip some beauty products in my blog. Sorry to all the guy readers out there..lol...

So, I'm sure you've all read that I'm a religious user of Bobbi Brown pressed powder.
However, being too stingy on the pressed powder as it cost be a whooping RM110...I thought that searching for an alternative would be wise. Then, I can apply it generously, and carry it everywhere I go.
I'm so afraid of losing my Bobbi Brown pressed powder to the extent, I don't even carry it out with me for touch up. I use it sparingly. And sometimes, I get piss at myself for doing so.

Therefore, after reading promising reviews on Rimmel Stay Matte Pressed Powder. *some even commented that it is at par with MAC powder!! * I dug out 3.99pound, *yes...it is dirt cheap, no?* and bought it.

I wasn't expecting much from it though. But, since it is written there, TALC-free, I thought this product is definitely worth a try. I don't know why, but I hate products that contain talc, though most of my products still DO contain talc.
I bought it in colour 005.

Today I went out shopping. Walk around for bout 4hours. And I must say, I'm impressed with it.
My face stayed matte till the end without touch up.
It didn't break me out, therefore, this is definitely a plus point.

I absolutely love it. And I'm sure to be using it more often than my Bobbi Brown's.
For more detailed review, I think you girls can check it out on youtube!

How many ways can you pose with Pisa tower?

2010-04-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder how many ways can you pose with Pisa tower??
I am no professional, but here are some shots.
Me likey!!

I'm heading home this 30th April. That will be like...SOON.
I have mix feelings bout it.

But honestly, I am really looking forward to going back Malaysia.
Nicer food, cheaper shopping paradise, closer to family, more friends, more happening places to hang out...and I'm so looking forward to banging my luck on getting a job in Singapore.
*pray hard*

The only reason that is holding me back, is, my darling bf will be left alone here.
I'm not quite worried about straying bf as i know my bf is quite trustworthy. I'm just feeling sad, because I know he'll be sad too.
Just like how he keeps telling me, that I'll need to take good care of myself, and make sure I'm happy always. Eat well, sleep well, work hard, study hard for my last ACCA paper, score well, and wait for him to visit me.

This is one guy in my life that I know, if things don't work out for both of us, the last thing I'll feel for him is HATE.
Though we've had our ups and downs. Just like all couples do. He has shown me love, enough for me to know and understand, how does being loved feels like.

For now, I'm just grateful to have him...<3

Venice.

2010-04-26T03:23:00.000-07:00

I love Venice.
One of the nicest place in Europe.
I''l let the pictures do the talking, cause the bf is sound asleep....my typing may wake him up..

I heart my bf to bits.

2010-04-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

As I've written, yesterday I went out for shopping/eating/movie.

Well, I bought a great deal of stuff.
Will just list of the items I bought. Can't take any pictures, cause my camera's memory card is full.
So, I spent my money on:
- Boots No.7 tinted moisturiser
- Lee Stafford heat protective spray
- Burberry Weekenders perfume
- Lush fragrance
- Rimmel stay matte pressed powder
- Boots botanic toner and moisturiser for my sister!
- Boots botanic eye make up remover
- Superdrug facial wipes

The Burberry perfume was meant for my bestfriend as a birthday present. But after thinking for awhile, I thought I like it too much to give it to her. So I called her up, and said..
"Ning, I bought the Burberry perfume for you, but..."
guess what?
"Ew, I hate Burberry!"
Glad she said that. Cause I ain't going to give it to her either. One thing bout me and her, we hardly ever like the same thing. Therefore, very unlikely we'll fight over the same guy. :-)

Yesterday when we were going back, we went up the wrong train, it took us one stop further than where we were supposed to get down.
Bf insisted on walking back. Little did we know, though it was just a stop away, it was an hour walk away!
Halfway through it, I was complaining about my legs. How uncomfortable I felt.
I was so touch, when he told me to hopped on his back, and he piggy back me all the way to Perry Barr.
For someone as skinny as him, who couldn't even carry me up a fleet of stairs, I appreciated it so much that though he was dead tired too, he knew he needed to do his bits as a bf. <3

Today he is complaining bout backache. Guess what? The evil gf of his a.k.a ERNY, ain't going to be bothered. Wahahahaha.....

Happy Happy Me!

2010-04-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

I know, this is most probably the silliest pic of me.
Thanks to the tourist guide..he snapped my pic when I was talking to a fellow tour friend.
And my bf actually thinks the pic looks cute...so I guess having it here is not a bad idea.

Anyway, I'm soooo excited. Bf agreed to bring me out shopping tomorrow.
It is not the first date, but I'm walking on cloud 9, cause he isn't the type that will accompany me from one shop to another looking for clothes or or make up stuff.
Usually, our dates will be having buffet lunch, and heading off for movie.
Now I made it clear that I will NOT have lunch until I buy what I'm looking for, which is like a whole list of madness. Haha....
Then he'll be bringing me for steamboat!!!
And we'll have night movie!!!

I think I better check out what's the latest movie.
The last time we went to watch movie, we had no idea what was the "in" show, we just randomly pick one, and guess what we stumbled upon???
" I Love Philip Morris"
Everything was well, untill Jim Carrey started making love.....nothing unusual huh??
Lol....as the camera rolled down, my bf was cursing the movie like mad.
Jim Carrey was making love to a guy!

Cool. We unknowingly went to watch a gay movie.

To beautiful Germany

2010-04-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

As I've said, we spent like just half the day in Luxembourg...then we proceeded to Germany.
I was quite disappointed to find out that the trip did not include visiting Munich or any historical monuments that can be associated to world war two. I love to visit war time sites and to read more bout what had happened back then.
Then again...Germany is indeed a beautiful place...

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........

The wonders of technology. Call me jakun or what it doesn't really matter. Cause I was at awe staring at the toiler bowl.
After it flushed automatically, the seat will rotate on its own..and the blue "thing" there will wipe all the traces of "dirt" on the toilet seat.
How cool is that???!!

I would very much love to write a more informative post, but I find myself having more and more things to do nowadays, therefore, I hope dear readers would be happy with just photos for these few posts and the future ones too, until I can find time to blog again...
Adios!

Luxembourg

2010-04-17T17:37:00.001-07:00

Ah then...my europe trip brought me to Luxembourg....a country I have never thought of visiting....
But then again...something of my interest lies in Luxembourg...wanna know what's that??
View my photos...

Ta-tah!!! E-R-N-Y ...my shop! hah....the chances of bumping into someone with the same name and spelling as me is like 0.00001%, and there I was, with a shop 'named' after me. :-p

Well, we spent only half the day there...it was raining, and I had totally 0 mood to look around. Especially that people there don't fancy using umbrellas, and so, I didn't want to look like the odd ball out with umbrella, thus, I GOT WET!

To understand...and to love..

2010-04-15T15:18:00.000-07:00

I have always felt unimportant to my bf, no matter what he does, and how he assures me. I guess, it is true, like how most wiser girls often say, " Sense of security comes from yourself, and not from others."... too bad..it takes me a lot more to realise that whether I'm important or not does not need to be spoken out, instead, I should observe the small things he does everyday for me.
Just like today, as usual, I like to randomly shoot at him when I feel I'm being ignored..."I don't think you love me"....right after dinner....and thank goodness he kept his cool...and calmly replied, "you should say that during dinner".....and then it hit hard at me, yeah...without fail, he prepares dinner everyday, and he cooks whatever I ask for.
"I want fish today!"
"I want potatoes!"
"I like the soup you cook!"
and all I do, is to sit in the room, and surf the net till dinner is ready.

Anyway, this is just a random post so that I can keep my blog alive!
Let me end it with this picture I stole from my sister's blog.

Holland, Holland here I am!

2010-04-13T03:17:00.000-07:00

So, the trip proceeded to Holland, where I had the chance to witness The Hague. I remember I once used to write about hoping to be a lawyer, and get the chance to fight in The Hague for Malaysia's Pulau Sipadan, and...this, I can't really recall the other name of the Island where there was an ongoing dispute with Singapore. Haha..very funny. Now, I end up as an account grad, and here I am, fulfilling my dream of going to The Hague, for a visit instead.

We were brought to this beautiful flower farm. Too bad, winter just passed, and therefore, flowers have yet to bloom well. Nevertheless, we managed to see some other equally beautiful flowers.

I damn regret not having more cash with me, those....wooden shoes are so effing cute! What a waste I couldn't buy them....

Few facts about Holland,
prostitution and drugs are legal there.
We did stroll down the red light district area, and wow, am I amused by how the whores displayed themselves. Like how??
Ah well, think about a shop, having glass section with mannequins to showcase their clothes. So, these whores, exhibit themselves clad only in bras and panties, behind a glass door. If u like them, walk into their so-called shop, and they will draw the curtain close. Once sex is over, client leave, the curtain will be open, and business resume as usual. How interesting.

So, drugs shops. Now, fairly interesting.....their drugs shops, are called COFFEESHOP. Spell, with the word "coffee" and "shop" join together. I saw few teenagers smoking weed in the shop.

Holland is indeed a place everyone should visit for its cultures, and best of all, Ann Frank's hiding place during the Nazi's occupation is there too! Too bad I didn't get to visit, but I'll make it there one day, I hope!

Austria!!

2010-04-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

Ah well, the next stop, was to Austria!!
We made a stop at Innsbruck *I hope I get the spelling right!*.....guess what? We stopped at Swarovski's main factory. We were told that most stuff there retailed for cheaper than market price. But yeah right. You know how much cheaper? 1 fucking euro!
Nevertheless, I ended up buying a ring! Yippee! Love it to bits, though I cannot recall where I have kept my ring....SHIT!

Look..even the toilet is brightened with little crystal-like bulb.

Sorry people, these days, a little lazy to blog...so I'll just let pictures do the talking...

Belgium!!!

2010-04-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

I headed out for a 13days trip ....and landed in Belgium.
I went there with another 3 friends of mine. We joined a tour, called Omega, and found ourselves surrounded by another 28 china students!!! If this happen 6 months ago, I would have cursed my ass off. Too bad, my bf is from China, so, I know I need to slowly deal with these people. Different cultures, and thinking aside....we are all Chinese...duh??

Photos updates......

We had to board this ferry to bring us from UK to France, then the bus driver drove all the way to Belgium. Our first destination.

More pictures update, will be uploaded to facebook!

Back from Europe trip!!

2010-04-09T04:13:00.000-07:00

Yes! I am finally back after 13days of missing in action.
Please give me some time for further updates!
Lots of pictures on the way...stay tune!

My hair evolution....

2010-03-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

I have been cracking my head these days, thinking of what's next to do with my hair.
See, I love making changes to my hair, from colour, to hairstyle....but now, I'm perfectly contented with long hair that goes messy whenever the wind blows.
Making drastic change to the hairstyle can be, as I view, a life threatening thing to do. One step goes wrong, you'll be in the hiding for the next 6 months.
When I was younger, I didn't mind taking risk. Now that I'm 23...I will need to think a lot. "Look" is undeniably vital these days. Sis has been pestering me to curl my hair. But then again, I have developed phobia towards curling my hair, as I did it once, and it was THE worst decision in my life!
I straightened my hair right after 3 months.
And this is how I look then....

As my hair grew longer and longer, I never thought of cutting it, for fear that I might need to straighten it again, as I'm not very fond of too "Penget" means, flat, hairstyle.

But as you can see...not cutting my hair, didn't mean it would grow out nicely. And it looks disastrous as days went by....
I had to tie it up instead, so that I won't look like I was having too out of place hair.

Then, I made my decision to have it snipped. Was just in time to head to Singapore for holidays then....

Then I got fed up with my hair. Natural hair, however straight it is, can never look as nice as straightened hair. So I was at my wits end, when I decided to cut that mob away.

If you take a close look at the pic below, and the one above, I actually went to trim it shorter again, after 2 months of having it short.

It grew...and look, I dyed it red then....

The colour was obviously wearing off a little...

And then..my hair...grew...very very out of shape~

I had to tie it up, again!

Finally, I had to straighten it...no choice.

It looks so awful back then...lesson to be learned - never straighten your hair, when it is just touching your shoulder.

It grew a little, but still, remained as flat as ever. That was when I told myself strictly, no more straightening for the rest of my life!

It turned out nicer and nicer as months flew by...

Finally, it look natural once more! I dyed my hair greenish brown!

And, the story repeated itself....my hair became out of shape again!

I snipped it shorter, but not too short. I had it slightly less layer, so that it won't look awful without straightening.

The last time I cut my hair...was a week before leaving for UK, which should be, if i remember clearly, Sep 2009. Now, you can guess, just how messy and fucking out of shape my current hair looks like.

I freaking can't wait to go home for a trim!
At least, to make it presentable. Whatever I'll do later on, that can be planned slowly.

A toast to randomness.

2010-03-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been wasting my time reading blogs, and linking all the interesting blogs to my blog list. As you can see, the list is GROWING!

I thought, why not just crap about some random stuff about myself.

My list of stuff I'm currently using:

1) Cleanser
- Dr. Murad refreshing cleanser

2) Toner
- Dr Murad hydrating toner

3) Moisturiser
- Dr Murad perfecting lotion (night)/ Neutorgena oil free mosituriser (morning)

4) Eye gel
- Artistry eye cream

5) Sunblock
- Dermalogica sun protection booster

6) Scrub
- Estee Lauder

7) Mask
- Superdrug aloe vera mask

8) Shampoo
- Herbal Essence

9) Conditioner
- Herbal Essence

10) Body lotion
- Johnson

11) Hair serum
- Kerastase

Oh yeah! I just made a new haul! These are what I bought from Liz Earle website!!

So excited to use them!! But I won't be using any just yet, until I finish up my current products.

# 1st pic, from left to right
- Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser, Instant Boost Skin Tonic, Skin Repair Moisturiser ( I didn't get the last bottle, which is the scrub)

# 2nd pic, from left to right
-Daily Eye Repair, Smoothing Line Serum , Eyebright Soothing Eye Lotion

How creative can one be??

2010-03-20T17:51:00.000-07:00

Please scrutinize both pictures clearly, and spot the difference, then see the written caption below!

When scarcity of resources & time takeover, accountants perform best! That's why we are chosen for audit, tax & FRS~ LOL. No time to cook? Pressure cooker works best. No money to buy pressure cooker? tA dA!! Presenting to you, 'creative' accounting. Save time, save money.
[D'creative accountant of the month: KTOO]

-Picture and post stolen from Sam-

Farewell Party for all Fellow "Willowers"

2010-03-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

It was a heart wrenching night for all of us.
18.03.10, one day before everyone slowly pack up and prepare to either head home, or to pursue different paths in life.
We celebrated our very own farewell party, not with alcohol, and late night party in Willow House, but by having this memorable buffet dinner in a Chinese restaurant.
We ate so much, and I was glad my usually reclusive bf agreed to tag along too, and he did enjoy himself that night, gorging down everything he could lay his hands on.
Though it was just a 6months stay together, I guess it was quite hard for us to bid farewell to each other.
Yesterday, 19.03.10, I moved all my stuff down to the bf's room. Today, I have half of my friends gone already. Some, off to travel, two, headed home, and the rest preparing to leave tomorrow. I look around, and there was feeling of loneliness. I was told, I would most probably be the last to leave Willow House, and I just hope it won't leave that much of an impact on the bf then.
Separation teaches us to appreciate what we have now. I'm just glad it didn't take me longer to realise so. At least, I'll still be heading for my Europe Trip with some friends, I'm sure to make the best out of it!!!

Photos of that night!

#1 Some of my friends who always call me Little Princess. Cause I'm like the spoiled brat in my flat!

#2 On my left, "Guai bao bao" the guy who owns the RM12,000.00 camera! And my right, my another so-called"husband".

#3 I thought this photo focus more on me rather than the two in front.

#4 They thought of creating a marriage ceremony-like photo. =.='''

#5

#6

#7

#8 Happy Happy Willowers!!

#9

#10

Glorious Moment for Malaysia!

2010-03-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

I insisted in going to watch the All England final.
Though my legs hurt, I was limping my way there. I know, I need to go witness Malaysia's victory for the day!
And sure enough, our country's Lee Chong Wei, did not let anyone down that day!

See, he was sooooo effing near to me!!!! But too bad, he refused to turn his head.
And sorry for some blurry pictures. The stupid moron kid besides me keep shaking the bar in front of me, knowingly my body was against the bar, and obviously, I was also shaken by it. Damn him.
Especially when he saw me snapping away at Lee Chong Wei, while he was yelling "Tago!! Tago!!!", he started using his head to block me. Trust me! He moved his freaking stupid ridiculous looking head right in front of my face. And when I tried bending lower, he went lower too, when I tried shifting my head to the right to avoid his head, he went right too! Bloody fool little guy. And he looks about 10 years old only. If this happens in Malaysia, I would have bloody yelled at him!

There were soooo many Malaysians that day.
Shouting and cheering.
The best part was when the game just started, someone from the crowded shouted
"Belasah Sama Dia!!!"
And everyone burst out laughing.
To be somewhere out from Malaysia, that is when one can feel, that we are truly, One Malaysia!
Being in Malaysia, One Malaysia is total bullshit! Racism happens everywhere you go in Malaysia, and the government dares say One Malaysia？？？

But here, in Birmingham, I was sitting beside a Malay family wearing Malaysia Boleh shirt. And right behind me, an Indian Boy was sitting with Malaysia's flag on his lap, waiting to cheer.

We definitely don't see unity in Malaysia.
We can only witness unity during a Badminton match.

Everyone was shouting:
"Malaysia, Boleh!"
Then it became:
"Lee Chong Wei, Boleh!"
Then Malaysians creativity kick in, and it became:
"Misbun, Boleh!"

I met an accident

2010-03-12T15:59:00.000-08:00

This is not a very pleasant experience.

Was back from buying some necessities. Was about to cross the road which has 3 lanes, the 3rd lane was the nearest to me.
The traffic light turned red. The car on the first lane stopped. I noticed there was no car on the second, and so, my blurred out mind, did not think any further bout the 3rd lane car.
Like, why? Cause anyway, the traffic light is red, and there is a car which has already stopped.

Walk..

Something bang hard on my left thigh, I rolled up on to the bonnet of the car, bounced few meters away, landed on the road, glided few more meters away before i finally came to an abrupt stop.

My legs were in pain. My hands were shaking. I was freak out. I couldn't stand, couldn't get up.
Students and some other drivers came frantically. A guy was yelling to others not to touch me. Everyone thought a broken bone is definite. But as I was in the middle of the road. They finally decided to carry me to the side.

I was so traumatized, I was crying so badly over the phone asking my friends to come over.

Someone called for ambulance as, trust me, if you were there, you would thought, I'm either dead for sure, or at least, have some broken bones. I didn't exactly bounced off the car bonnet. More like flew.

I suffered bruises everywhere on my legs. The left thigh is slowly swelling as I'm typing here. My right toe has been hurt, and the foot is also slowly swelling. I have bruises on my right knees, and some cuts to the side, near my pelvic bone. My right shoulder and arm can't be lifted.

The nurse said I'll be having terrible aching tomorrow onwards, and ask me to purchase some pain killers to consume.
I did not.

The nurse explained that, if the car had not tried swaying a little to the left to avoid me, I'll be knocked upfront, and then, a few broken bones will be DEFINITE. He kept telling me just how lucky I was to be clipped by the side of the car, though I was sent rolling on to the top of the bonnet, and flew like superman over the road, it was a very lucky accident.

I don't consider it lucky though. I am guessing that cause I am relatively small, when the car knock me, and sent me hitting my entire front side of my body on the bonnet and flew, the impact was not big. Not because the car was slow. It was because I was like a little round ball, bouncing on top of the car, and bouncing back onto the road.

YP rushed over after receiving calls from my friend, and we were sent to the hospital in an ambulance. YP was trying to joke, by telling me, just how funny the culture in UK, cause the ambulance came, and a paramedic, I assumed should be a nurse, and a driver came to carry me into the ambulance, and one was a lady, one was a man.
And guess what, the lady turned out to be the driver, and the man was the nurse???!!!
Lady as driver of the ambulance??? And the Mr.Macho was the nurse? Joke of the century man!

I had to deal with the police later on. I don't know whether it was the right thing to do, as the police asked me whether I want to press charges against the driver, and I instantly, without thinking, said no.
Is it unusual for people to not sue when they get knock down in UK? Because the policemen were obviously very surprise when I said "no" firmly. He kept asking, again and again, and told me I can bring this case to court. I said I am fine, I'm still alive, there is no need to cause anyone any trouble.

But I am so sad. I may not be able to attend the All England final this Sunday. And guess what, Lee Chong Wei just won today's round. Fuck! If he gets to the final, no matter how swollen are my legs, I think I will still limp my way there. I need to support Malaysia!!

Updates bout my life...

2010-03-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

I know, many of you are waiting for me to upload pictures of myself.
Well, I guess, I shall make the wait longer...so that I can wash my hair more often, to achieve more dramatic effect. :-p
Anyway, this is the brand I'd chosen. Clairol, which cannot be found in Malaysia, except for the shampoo a.k.a Clairol Herbal Essence.
This is also the exact colour I have pick. Natural Light in 106A Blonde.
I paid 4.6pound for it, got my hair dyed. And then read reviews about this product, just to find appalling comments everywhere. Haha..
- made my hair grey in colour!
- my hair didn't turn out the same as indicated on the box
- my scalp itch badly
- the colour didn't turn out nice.
and the list went on and went.
But, for me, I think all went well. Loving the colour, though it didn't turn out exactly, but, knowing my jet black hair which cannot even be dyed properly in salons, I think this hair dye did a splendid job on my hair.

I'll post pictures of my hair soon. So, please stay tune.

Anyway, my brother met with an accident the other day.
It was a horrible one. I am sure you can judge it based on the extent of damage to the car.

I thank God, miraculously, he walked out without a scratch.
Lately, my family has been having a string of unfortunate events. One after another, and me, being in UK, is unable to do anything besides making constant phone calls home.
I have scheduled for an earlier flight home, on 30th Apr.
Family is always more important than bf. And despite I adore him very much, I'm sure I won't regret my decision to head home earlier rather than to spend the extra 19days I have with him here before my visa officially expired.
And I'm thankful that he gives me 100% support on it.

A piece of me, March 2010

2010-03-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

I'm always late on my "A Piece of Me"
Pardon me for that!

This month....

I like: That I am going to finish my dissertation soon. 2000words more and THE END!

I don't like: That I will need to plan for my future soon.

I want you to know: I've learned well about the saying, "Let Go"

I've planned: To head to Lion's land, where abundant opportunities awaits me.

I want to say to someone special: To everyone out there!! I feel contented with life so far. What I have, what I plan to own, and I'll open my arms to whatever that may come by my way in the future, for better or worse, it is the challenges in life, that makes it worth living for.

Well, guess what people??
I have finally dyed my hair.
So, yesterday, after the few attempts to choose a proper hair dye- the brand, the colour, the shades, I have finally bought myself shades of blonde. Yes. You read me well. BLONDE. Hah! Because I was sure as hell, nothing would appear on my jet black hair.

Later in the evening I told my bf I'll be having chit chat session with my fellow friends. And there it went, excruciating hour, sitting there, while my dear friend tried applying tonnes of chemical on my hair, pulling and tugging at it, trying to ensure the dye was spread evenly across my hair.

The final moment came, when I stepped into the bathroom, shower myself, and applied lotsa conditioner to my poor damaged hair. And there and then, I could see my reflection in the mirror, glimpse of brown shines....*shhiiittt....* I was so nervous, because usually when the hair is wet, you can hardly see any colour. This applies to home dye kit. Home dye kit has lesser chances of success rate. But I am, standing, and looking at my wet, and brownish looking hair.

After I blew dry my hair, and confirmed I look like a pretty new girl from the block...I went to find my bf. Stroll in casually to his room, and there, first glance at me, and as usual he stared back at his lappie. Then, horrified, he took another turn. STARED! And ask, "what???! You DYED your hair??"
I was giggling, and couldn't stop dancing around.
"Do I look nicer?"
-"You look like some malnutrition kid"-
WTF? Enough said.
I love my hair colour for now.

Happy shopping spree

2010-03-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

Lol...I know it is a little too fast for a new update.
But I just can't wait till tomorrow to blog about my long awaited shopping spree.
It has been ages, trust me, since the last time I actually went out shopping.
So, though I was dead tired, I dragged myself out from bed. There is a reason to it, and it is not entirely just to go shopping.
So, now, I hereby present you people with my stuff....

Firstly, I got myself this.
5 ways to style. There are a big curler, a tiny curler, a ...don't know how you call it-top thin, bottom thick curler, and a straightener. Best part is, it was on sale for 24.99 pound. Awesome, right?? I just hope this thing work well. Yesterday I tried it, and was quite satisfied so far. But my friend was telling me to get one with temperature control. It would be better. So, I guess, I'll just settle with this first. That temperature stuff, will come after I am earning lotsa money money money. Hahahahaha.....

Second, I bought these lippies. Remember how i blogged about me being into lip stuff recently？ Yes, so I went to get these.
From left to right, I have, Body shop lipstick in orange, No.7 lipgloss in peach (especially for my dearest bestfriend, Ning), Bourjouis Lipgloss in nude/peach and lastly, Bourjouis Lipgloss in pink.
I hate lipgloss, for they never turn out on your lips. Besides those shines that they add, which I always tell my friends, "we can achieve it by eating curry noodles, and don't wipe your mouth"....despite so, I never give up in search of a lipgloss which is pigmented enough to show on the lips. I was quite disappointed too with these, but according to my friends, they do show. Could be that I was having too high expectation. I never tested the No.7, as it is for my bestfriend. I just hope it shows on her lips too. If not, total waste.

Here, this is the funny part. Pretty orange colour, no? Was in love with it, the instant i saw it, and tried it on my hand. Lol..and when I came home, was in a disastrous state, when the colour was so sheer, it just couldn't cover most of my VERY pigmented red lips. So, guess what, orange+red...I end up having shades of brown on my lips instead.
Damn!! I watched one youtube girl reviewing about this lipstick, and was complaining that it is just too sheer. I didn't listen. And yes..this is my consequence. Damn!
Nevermind, I'll just top it with some peach gloss. I'll be sure it will look acceptable. Wouldn't want VERY the orange colour on my lips too, right???

This. I bought a new makeup bag. Yes. I was blogging about needing one new one, right??
This is a steal, at just 4.99pound.
Love it!

Okay, now this is the ultimate "THING" that I bought, which was the main reason I headed out to city centre, in the cold, and having terrible flu.
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All England Badminton ticket.
Especially only for the finals.
Betting my ass off that I'll see Lee Chong Wei there.
He had better win...or else, I'll hate him for wasting my money. Bloody 17.20pound
*Giggles*

A day in Oxford

2010-03-04T18:10:00.000-08:00

So, we embarked on a day trip to Oxford...and I shall let the pictures do the talking....so lazy these days...

Today, I don't feel like writing much, as I'm down with flu and slight sore throat. I was already not feeling well yesterday, but I headed out to city center as well. Want to know the reasons for it?
Well, stay tune for my hauls..Lolx!

Anyway, like my new background??
For those who have seen my previous blog settings, it sucks right?
YP was telling me how ugly it look, and I was complaining about the picture being on the left. Was wondering why was I unable to direct the top picture to the center.
Lolx...and now, after asking my sister about it, I finally have my very own new settings.

Love it?

Beauty Products

2010-03-01T07:56:00.000-08:00

I have been going back and forth, trying to finish up my analysis part for my dissertation, and reading up on makeup reviews, as well as watching makeup tutorials over youtube. Very informative indeed.
I know, I don't look like a makeup freak because you'll rarely chance upon myself in photos, having smack on my face all the makeup products I have. But, truth is, I am obsessed with makeup. *giggles*

Let me have a look at my current makeup bag....
I came all the way from Malaysia to UK with the most minimal makeup stuff I needed then, and the stack grew as i slowly, and steadily started collecting more makeup as UK has lots of brands that can't be found in Malaysia. *Damn, I shouldn't have brought anything, actually*

Accessories:
1. a small saucer pan for my mineral makeup
2. Dior eyeliner sharpener *came free when I purchase my Dior eyeliner*
3. Everydaymineral flat top kabuki brush
4 .Coastal Scents eye blending brush
5. Coastal Scents lip brush
6. Ecotools blush brush
7. Shu Uemura eyelash curler
8. Etude House eyeliner brush
And I added into my collection....
9. Gosh eyebrow brush
10. Ecotools powder brush *YP bought it for me*
11. Sephora retractable kabuki brush

Makeup Products
1. Bobbi Brown liquid foundation *cost me so much, despite me feeling really happy having it, cause it is an awesome product, I seriously doubt I'll go into such impulse purchase ever again*
2. Bobbi Brown pressed powder *love this. Expensive too, but I'm so going to get it again.*
3. Loreal Double extension mascara *stated to be waterproof, but failed to do so*
4. NYX lipgloss in Lollipop * used to hate it, cause it wasn't as pigmented as I wanted it to be, but now I absolutely love it*
5. Dr.G BB cream *great product. Team it up with an expensive pressed powder, such as Bobbi Brown's, you can wave goodbye to conventional foundation*
6. Everydayminerals blusher, 3 shades- Pink Ribbon, Walkee Talkee, and Theme Park * I have countless blusher at home. I simply love collecting them. My most important "can't live without" makeup product.*
7. Anna Sui mascara
8. Kate eyeshadow palette in BK-1
9. Benefit eyeshadow base *expensive and useless product*
10. Skinfood gel eyeliner
11. Dior eyeliner in black
12. Revlon eyeliner in brown
13. Korean glitter eyeliner
And I added to my collection...
14. Monistat chaffing relief powder-gel *i know, this product is like for some feminine hygiene stuff, but trust me, do some reading up, and you'll realise abundant of people use it as make up primer.*

Now, I guess, I'll need to do some shopping to buy a bigger makeup case.
Cause I am darn sure, I'll be adding more before I head home.

Some time ago, I remember, when I was in Hong Kong for holiday, and I bought myself this Sephora lipgloss, obviously, having something new, I couldn't stop applying it. Before food, after food, in the toilet, in the tour bus...wherever, and whenever I have the chance to do some touch ups. This seemingly nice aunty then told my mum, how lucky it is, for us youngster to be able to use lipgloss only. Cause we still look good having lipgloss on, while for "old" people like her and my mum, they will need to apply lipstick instead, in order to look good. I have no idea why is there a difference, seriously.

I just had a casual chat with my friend over msn, and she was asking me about nude lippies, and I was telling her about me, looking for coral colour lippies, and about my bestfriend having pink lippies on during CNY, I couldn't help it but wonder, are we aging already? The fact that I have never really been into lipgloss, let alone lipstick?? And now, all I do is to read reviews, and watch swatches of different lipsticks, I think, I am catching up with my mum now....*scary*

Busy

2010-02-25T06:27:00.000-08:00

These days I have been busy trying to rush my dissertation.....done bout 6000 words, with roughly another 6000 to proceed and another 10 more days to dead line. I'm in for a roller coaster ride.
And here I am blogging my ass off???! I should know my lesson well enough, but once bitten never shy.
I. AM. SO. DEAD.

Yogurt!

2010-02-21T06:26:00.000-08:00

2 boxes of yogurt per day.
I'm dying of stomachache.
Went to the toilet 4 times yesterday!

Valentine celebration

2010-02-16T18:22:00.000-08:00

Boo! Sorry folks, no pictures of Vday celebration. How to snap pictures, when it was just the both of us out having our romantic date? *if eating buffet, and watching movie is the ideal way to celebrate a romantic Vday, then, ah-ha....ROMANTIC, it shall be said*
Lolx....nevertheless, I was happy then. Therefore, since with the absence of some pictures of *US*, I shall present to you people, 2 Chinese new Year pictures of *US*.

Ok, that is me...I believe I was drinking Heineken, no? But, why do I look like I have been forced to bottoms up a glass of pure Whiskey instead?

Yes, undeniably, it was well written all over my face, " STOP BLOODY GIVING ME ANYMORE ALCOHOL".....

We celebrated Chinese New Year on the eve. And of course, I had my share of Vday celebration with YP on 14th Feb. It wasn't much of an awesome way to spend Vday, however, I appreciated it very much that for someone who hates going out in the cold, he took the trouble to bring me to this highly recommended buffet restaurant, and paid a ridiculous price for the meal, especially for someone who can't even eat up to 2pound worth of food-Me.
After that, we went to watch The Wolf man. I did enjoy the movie, though I knew, he was struggling hard to understand the conversation. There was no subtitles, and I felt really bad for demanding to watch a movie on that day. I could have easily settled for movie in the comfort of his room. PPS has tonnes of movies, with subtitles included.
I know I am bad. But I can't help it.

Chinese New Year celebration in UK!!!

2010-02-15T14:02:00.000-08:00

First time in my life I celebrated Chinese New Year in a totally unrelated country.
BIRMINGHAM, UK!
However, being Malaysians, we all, memang everything also boleh.
We had our own party. Bought everything needed, prepared the steamboat, made our own curry puff, wrapped our very own popiah...(damn, the sengkuang was damn freaking expensive. 7pound per kg. Insane!)
I was the lazy girl. When everyone was busy lending a helping hand, I was in the comfort of my own room, watching my favourite korean drama for the second time. It was until this guy who owns a RM12,000 pro camera came up to me in my room, and said this,
"to the girl who did nothing, look here, let me take a picture of you."
Shiiiitt......
Damn, the last thing i wanted, was to be remembered as the lazy bum who paid, did nothing, and ate through the night.
So, I finally got myself a position for the night. THE vegetables washer!
LOOK!

The night went on well with too much food for all...and my bf who is always the odd ball out did not join in the fun.
Everyone wore red, but he was not bothered, he was having this really bad sore throat, and poor guy couldn't enjoy any Malaysian delicacies.

Too much alcohol for the night too......but I was restricted to only Heineken, and a few sips of the very geli Green Label.

My friends and I.....

The whole bunch of us.....the Willow House gang!!

This is the consequence of not being able to emerge first in a fish ball eating competition. This girl was forced to bottoms up the entire bottle of Jack Daniels. Thank goodness it was not a punishment for me, or else, you'll be seeing me vomiting in the toilet, and most probably being hurled back to my room by the Bf with a one hour lecture for the night. So, lucky me, got off the hook this time. Look at me, finding myself being entertained by the tormented girl. Ooohh...and Heineken was behind me. That was what I was allowed to touch for the night.

Happy people!

Trying to act stupid....

Ok, when the supposedly low alcohol level Heineken kicked in, let the game begin!!

Yes...when it went slightly over.....I look like I was in pain.
Obviously! Damn, the bf was standing right behind me watching all the craziness that was on.

And that's all for the day! Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy Chinese New Year

2010-02-13T04:53:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all my readers. Let's pray hard that this year we'll all have better and prosperous year ahead.
Every year, when it's near CNY time, the only few things I am excited about will be all the valid excuses I have to ask for money to splurge on clothes, bags, shoes. One can just keep buying, and no need to feel guilty. Well, it is after all, new year, ain't it?
New year means, new clothes, new shoes, new bags, new undergarments...and it is actually a never ending list of new stuff to add to the already overflowing wardrobe.
Needless to say, the ang paos make Chinese New Year something worth looking forward to, too. No?

This is just a short update on what's been on.
A small birthday party for two beloved friends.
We had it in this KTV place, which I have no idea what is it called. The best part for me, is that the anti social bf of mine was willing to tag along. Well, I am darn sure it did shock many to see him there too. And I'm glad my friends tried making sure he was at ease. A great big thanks to them.
That was a splendid night, reminded me a lot like Malaysia, when friends hung out back then to chill and spend quality time together.
I miss Malaysia. But I'll make my stay here meaningful as well, hope I can enjoy the few last months here...and live with no regrets.

?????

2010-02-10T12:24:00.000-08:00

Can you see THAT? read THAT???
" OUR TUNA IS CAUGHT THE DOLPHIN-FRIENDLY WAY"
Like how friendly can it be??
Damn, reminds me of my dissertation topic. I'm writing a 15,000 words dissertation on Corporate Social Responsibility. Seriously, after much research, I can crap rubbish pages after pages on how the business organisation owes a duty to the stakeholders who consist of practically everyone affected by its actions, and decisions.
But this?? This is hilarious. Should I award a 5/5 score to this business for their effort in making sure their tuna is caught the dolphin - friendly way??
Think about it, " Hey, I just murdered someone, the human-friendly way???!!"
Funny.

A piece of me.....

2010-02-07T13:47:00.000-08:00

The continuation of "A Piece of Me" game..for February:

I like: That the weather is starting to feel better.

I don't like: That I'm being trashed upon with tonnes of worries each day.

I want you to know: That for the first time I didn't splurge on any Chinese New Year clothes.

I've planned: To work on my dissertation soon.

I want to say to someone special: To *YOU*, why stalk me?

Liverpool Stadium

2010-02-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well, today, I said to myself, enough of wallowing in self pity.
Was out whole day to Cambridge. Really very different from where I'm staying now, as in Birmingham. I'm like arriving from downtown to uptown. See people of upper class, different social standards, and I was actually going to say, more well behaved. But...were they??? Hhmmmm.....tell me how well behaved can one be when you don't even know the simple courtesy of queuing???? Damn. These Brits....I really expected them to be at least "civilized" than Malaysians....but no....everywhere I go, I rarely see them queue. It is unfair for me to generalised all but, I've pretty much had my share of experience with them thus far.

Anyway, a little updates on my previous trip to Liverpool stadium.
Was an utter disappointment. I wonder what my brother, the ever so loyal fan of Liverpool will have to say about it if he gets the chance to set foot to Man U Football club, and to get a hands on comparison to that of Liverpool Football Club. Damn, his heart will shatter.
Small, uninteresting, nothing much to glorify, and well, basically, just an ordinary football club. *shame*

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I should start updating pictures in my facebook rather than flooding my blogs with them.
I have like what?? Cardiff, Liverpool, Oxford, and now to add to the list, Cambridge photos. I am dead tired man. And to start resizing every pieces tediously? Fuck those pictures. They can very well rot in my hard disk for all I care.

Emo-ing

2010-02-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

Recently been in a state of emo.
Finally concluded...that fear, is the caused to human's downfall in moral value.
Where do greedy and selfish attitudes stem from?
When one fear, afraid of losing. Afraid of being taken for granted. Afraid of being taken advantage of. Afraid of every single thing that revolves around one's life....thus leading to being overprotective of oneself. Conscious over others' actions. Overly sensitive in relationship.
Small example like, being afraid of losing out in exam, leads to not lending notes to friends, which further contribute to being secretive about the knowledge possess, and then, about not wanting to share, and the big picture is, getting upset and jealous when friends score better in exam.
If only human don't know that greed and selfishness exist in this world...... not knowing, does it also mean, not inculcating such attitude, thinking and behavior?
I always pride myself since young, of my constant strife to improve myself, not superficially, but more of my mental state. Hate feeling the bugging need to deal with my split personality.
One moment, I'd be an Angel, the next I will be filled up to the brim with hatred, self loathe, insecurity, possessiveness, revenge.....and then, I take a minute, pause, breathe in the fresh air, clear my head of negative thoughts, and I'm all cool again, trying to make things end on a positive tone.
But life shouldn't be like that, no? I can't be in both categories, the Biatch, and the lovely girl next door, ever willing to lend a helping hand.
I want to straighten things out with myself. I need to make drastic changes. I need to get myself back on track. This is taking a toll on myself. It is damaging.
I won't lie about not being envious over how certain girls can be so blissful. How they can tolerate, and be the ever considerate friend/ girlfriend.
I guess, I can too, when I am able to delete the word "FEAR" from my life entirely.
Sometimes, being good really won't hurt. And so what if someone abuses your kind deed, and thoughts? Or your sacrifices?
I finally thought through it, though it may be hard for me to put it into practice in real life, but I know, to lead a happier life, I must make it a point to acknowledge my faults, see them, greet them, and wave goodbye to them, making sure they never turn up on my doorsteps ever again.
A friend always tell me, "he reaps what he sows". And as a strong believer of karma. I should really start ditching my ridiculous, and sometimes retarded attitude.
I'm open for enlightenment. Throw me your thoughts, please.
Love!

MY smartass brother in action

2010-02-04T05:38:00.000-08:00

Click on the picture to read more about my brother.....
Emerging as top student in National Defense University, with first class honor, and a CGPA of 3.75 for Aeronautical Engineering, my brother is THE MAN!
Hah....
I always thought greatly of my brother.....just not to the extent that I'll expect to see him being featured in Malaysia's Chinese Newspaper, "Sin Chew Jit Poh".....
There was even my family photo in it, and sad to say, I am not in it...thanks to UK.
But then again, I am overwhelmed with pride and joy.....I bet my ass, my dad would have a dozen copies of the newspaper to be "preserved"
A big "CONGRATULATION" to my dearest bro!!

Liverpool Pictures

2010-02-02T05:02:00.000-08:00

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After few days of continuous traveling, from Cardiff, to Liverpool, to Oxford, I seriously need a proper break now.
And I wonder, how am I even going to travel around the world, if I can't withstand the few days of non stop walking, and sometimes, getting lost here and there?
When I was young, like, really young....during primary school, I dreamed bout going to different places, to learn more bout different cultures, lifestyles, and all. The last stop I have always wanted to go to, was always New Zealand. Settle down there, with the "moo moos" and their very clean water???!!! I have no idea why people always associate New Zealand with that of cows, fresh air, and clean water. I remember my teacher used to say, you can even drink from the stream. That was like how many damn years ago. I wonder, if one can still drink from there....hhmmm.......
As I grew up, I started noticing that New Zealand is very much away from many other countries. It is like a total alienated country somewhere much further off than Australia...no? Correct me if I'm wrong. That is when I realised, I want to go somewhere like....here! UK! A country that is very much connected to many other countries, and is often talked about.
Now that I am here, I wonder what's the difference between countries like Australia, New Zealand, UK, and the US??? I have been to Australia...that country doesn't impress me much. People are not exactly friendly. But that is just about how much I can recall, as I was only like, what?? 11 years old at that time...
Guess, I have two more countries to check out, before I can make proper assumption on where do I like most, of which, I strongly believe, will lead back to my beloved country, Malaysia. No??

Now, I suddenly have this funny idea....what occurs in you head when you think bout these few countries?? Like me...let's see...

New Zealand : Cows, milk, and water!
Australia : Bush fire
UK : English tea???
USA : Firearms!!
China : Fake things
Hong Kong : Great cantonese dramas
Korea : Pretty girls and guys
Japan : We should hate them??
Macau : Casinos
Singapore : Kiasu people
Vietnam : Their wooden shoes
Laos : A country with only land surrounded it
Thailand : Prostitute?? *no offense please*
Indonesia : Maid
Philippines : How the hell do you tell the difference between them, the Thais and Indons??
Denmark: Dogs
Italy : Rome empire
Greece : Zeus
Spain : Bull charging after red cloth
Portugal : They sound like indian??
France : Sephora
Germany : Hitler
Poland : My penfriends
Austria : Why want to name a country like an abbreviation of Australia???
Ireland : Farmhouse
Scotland : Man in skirt, that is a kilt!
Switzerland : Snow
Sweden : Very fair human
Norway : Cold
Mexico : Hot
Egypt : Pyramid, and the mummies!

ehhh...I think I should put a fullstop here. If I go on, it will be a never ending list. No?
Hah!
Owh...how about lastly, Malaysia??
-nasi lemak, bak kut teh, multi racial country, friendly people, ying yong, laksa, Pavillion, S. Wang, Sing k, clubbing, yum cha, mamak, Lolx........:-p

Cardiff pictures

2010-01-31T11:14:00.000-08:00

"The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings"

This is a statement I saw in one of my friend's facebook shout out. How true can that be? Definitely bears some truth, but not entirely, no?
I have friends who allow their Significant Other basically 100% freedom, with 100% trust, and what happen? The SO abused the trust and freedom given.
I guess, it all boils down to individual's behavior?
Can someone justify this statement for me, please.

Proud to be a Malaysian...for once...hah!

2010-01-27T06:32:00.000-08:00

Pictures of the day....a trip to Bicester Village....

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They say, "you gotta lose it, before you learn to appreciate it"
Now, I am going to proudly proclaim myself as a Happy Malaysia citizen.
Staying in UK for this past few months have taught me to see how being a Malaysian bring so much advantage to myself. Besides realizing that we are very privileged to be allowed the golden opportunity to learn our language, as in, Chinese.
Malaysia is where we belong. And where we should feel grateful of being in. Regardless of some unfair circumstances that arise, we can, however, call Malaysia our much beloved home.
Being Malaysian, we are free to practice our desired language, say, chinese, malay, english, hokkien, cantonese...hakka...
I always love it when YP brings me out to meet some of his friends, and they will be so amazed that I could speak Chinese language....they usually ask me, like,
"how come you can understand Mandarin (chinese language)?"
"because I am a Chinese??? *duh*"
"but, you're from Malaysia"
"so? I attended Chinese school back then"
"you have Chinese school??"
*Ah-bo-then????*....obviously, I didn't reply that way.
Why I love being a Malaysian? Cause I can understand Mandarin!

And this particular scenario that got me feeling amused by myself, the fact that we, Malaysians, are indeed different, because we understand many languages.
I was sitting at the train station, waiting....and there, by my side, were three Malays.
There are many China Chinese in Birmingham, and one will least expect yourself (if you're a Malay) to be seated just next to one, who is from Malaysia. Hah!
So, being oblivious to the fact that I could understand what they were speaking, they started cracking random jokes. The guy was hilarious. And the two girls were laughing along.
I nearly burst out into laughter too, but I was adamant not to let them know I am a Malaysian, cause I wanted to listen to their conversation. Hah!
Why I love being a Malaysian? Cause I can understand Malay language!

I realize that, because Malaysia emphasizes a lot on English, we are somehow, brought up to speak proper and fluent English. We don't face communication problems here. Just like how, most China students, they struggle a lot due to language barrier . This is what got me thinking, that I thank God, I do not need to deal with such thing.
Why I love being a Malaysian? Cause I can understand English!!

I am so tired, I just came back from a trip to Cardiff, and Liverpool. Liverpool football club is such a disappointment. Nothing comparable to Man U stadium at all. This is such a sad thing to all Liverpool fans out there. Lolx...
Anyway, pictures will be up in my next post, I guess....

Fear??

2010-01-21T05:02:00.000-08:00

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What I'm going to blog about has nothing to do with these pictures. These are just photos of my Poland trip. Kinda miss snow, now that it is gone. How weird and ironic human can be.

Ok, back to my topic of the day.

F-E-A-R!

These days, I've been watching tonnes of horror movies. I was never really a big fan of scary, blood splattering movies. With constant scenes on how the bodies are being cut up by some psychopath, or eaten up by zombies?? EEewww.....

Last night, this horrendous movie, " The Hills Have Eyes", was the last straw. I could not put up with any of these anymore. I was telling YP, to stop downloading all these fuck up movies. It is bad enough to be imagining spiritual stuff and ghouls, now that I have to add to the list with blood thirsty cannibals and dead bodies walking around - ZOMBIES! I am so gonna swear myself off any dark place. Such movies DO NOT do any good for one's mental or physical state. My advice.....STOP WATCHING!

However, if you're a big fan of horror movies, I would like to hightlight one point here. Do any of you realise, that there is something common with all the horror movies?? The coward one always either die first, or they end up dying no matter what. None of the movies allow the coward character to successfully walk off at the end of the show, with the hero& heroin.

And the best part of it, every movie, will definitely have a coward character, who choses to leave the team, or to act stupid, like start shooting randomly, or walk about challenging the predator, whereas, the hero and heroin will like, hide and start drawing out a wise plan to escape. =.='''

It often makes me wonder...if it happens in real life, how likely is it for someone to say,

"hey guys, if you people insist on proceeding down this tunnel, I'm leaving, I'm so going to walk outside on my own, and I'm fucking sure I'll be able to get myself out safely."....and the next minute, you see this Mister Macho, striding off on his very own rescue-himself mission....????

I will personally chose to stick to my teammates/friends/group of people.....for better or worse. As I strongly believe, the more, the better.

I guess I better stop now. Why am I even thinking off rescuing myself from such situation?? Shit, you know what's running through my mind now??

the movie, "SAW"....you'll understand why, if you have watched it before.

"ssshhhh...."

List of things I am drooling for...

2010-01-18T09:44:00.000-08:00

This is what happen when you deprive Erny Tan the shopaholic her chance to go on a spending craze.
I start making mental notes of things I want to buy...and it grows..slowly and steadily to a list of unachievable dream.
So, you can see...these are the items I long to purchase. I have reading up on them. Reviews after reviews....pages after pages...I never get bored of reading them. If I have put that much of effort into my studies, I'll come up top.
People who know me well will definitely not be surprise. I am a makeup freak. I am obsessed in collecting makeup, though I very much rely on those few holy grail items that I diligently stick to, I, however, never stop buying other brands of makeup stuff to play with, or just for self satisfaction. You never know when you'll stumble across a good product then, no?
If I ever get the chance to pick on item from the above, I will pounce on the Korres Mango tinted lip balm. I am not a lippie person, but this product has received great coverage with fantastic review. If it works wonder, I'm so going to stock up some for my fellow friends back in Malaysia. :-)

My little secret

2010-01-16T16:02:00.000-08:00

What is the ultimate beauty product that every girl should have in her bag?? I know,, it could range from good cleanser, to effective toner, to a rich moisturiser.....and even to stuff like,
"I can't freaking live without an eyeliner"
"I use mascara every shit day"
"I can't leave my home without sunblock"
For me, my current "IT" product, would be a good bottle of VITAMIN E.
Yes! The most versatile product ever.
I have this....this very exact bottle of vitamin E, and I sure lurve it to bits...and I'll tell you why.

Function No.1
I'm sure everyone should have already known darn well that Vitamin E is taken as supplementary food. It is stated behind the bottle that I can mix 5 drops into my drinks each day to promote better health. But, yeah, though its main use is for health reason, this is the only benefit of Vitamin E that I totally ignore. I don't consume it.

Function No.2
Any scar?? Vitamin E is famous for healing scar. Many people often talks bout Bio Oil. But, I don't know, I swear by this bottle of thing to heal my scar, though haven't really noticed any differences to my scar, I cross my fingers, hoping it does its expected function well.

Function No.3
I mix this with my body lotion. After many many many applications, I realise I slowly achieve really smooth skin. Anyway, it helps save the amount of lotion I use, as a tiny drop combined with the lotion is adequate to make the lotion feels thicker in texture.

Function No.4
Love it or hate it, you can't deny the fact that it serves well as a moisturiser, though I wouldn't really recommend it for Malaysia weather. But it works splendid here. However, if apply during the night before heading to bed, I think it is quite usable in Malaysia. That is what my friend has been doing, and she has a very well maintained complexion.

Function No.5
I use it as hair serum. Hah. I really don't know how many people have tried it out before, but I was a big fan of Kerastase hair serum, costing RM75 per bottle. Was nearly going to purchase the next bottle when I realise, my Vitamin E works wonder on my hair. More amazing than the effing expensive Kerastase. The best part, all you need, is just THAT tiny little drop . Hair smooths out, and becomes frizz free. I apply it after I blow dry my hair.

Function No.6
Ok, I don't know whether this works or not. I have yet to tried it out. I just stumbled upon this forum, with someone posting before and after pictures of her eyelashes. They grew longer, and became healthier looking. She uses Vitamin E on her eyelashes, applying it with a clean mascara wand. I am so excited now, can't wait to give that a shot too.
Better than wasting money buying the eyelash serum from Sasa.....I paid a freaking RM80+ for a 2ml eyelash serum - Kji & Co before I came to UK as my eyelashes were dropping like mad.

Cool item, no? And it cost only 5.99pound.
Everyone SHOULD get themselves one.